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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Farmer*swife Family Conversations
Last week:
ME: [Looking in mirror, tousling hair and making sexy, sultry pouty faces with my lips]
DH: "Does your head itch?"
ME: "No, I'm tousling my hair and making sexy faces."
DH: "Oh, I thought maybe you had dandruff..."
ME: [To myself, "so much for sexy."]
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Weeks ago:
ME: [Peering out window, admiring a visiting hawk as he hunts for prey across our front pasture] "Kids, come look at the hawk!
SON: "Mama, how long are you going to watch that hawk?"
ME: "I don't know....a minute? Maybe two? Are you the slacker police or something?"
[Super-sonic Super-Mom ears hear an ever so slightly "clink".]
ME: [Still peering out window] "Son, you better put that Hersheys' kiss back in the candy bowl from where you got it, right now."
SON: [Amazed at my super abilities] "Mama, how did you KNOW?"
ME: "God gave all Mama's eyes in the back of their heads."
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Recently:
DAUGHTER: "Want me to brush your hair, Mama?"
ME: "Sure!" [I assume the position on the floor and daughter proceeds brushing and styling.]
SON: [Enters room, approaches me and begins tussling my hair all over the place]
ME: "What are you doing?"
SON: "Looking for those eyes in the back of your head!"
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This morning:
SON: "Can I have a fruit bar?"
ME: "You just had a whole bean, egg and cheese taco for breakfast!"
SON: "You don't make'em as big as the taco place."
ME: "That's because you don't get a snack an hour later after the taco place."
SON: [Enters pantry]
ME: "Get out of the pantry."
SON: [Exits strangely and takes the long way around the Island]
ME: "Put the blueberry fruit bar on the island, NOW."
SON: [Again, amazed at my mind reading super-ability, places "blueberry" fruit bar on island]
ME: "You may put the fruit bar in your backpack for your snack at school today."
SON: [Exits]
ME: [All knowing Super-Mom alarm sensor goes off in my head. I approach Utility room and peep in to find son placing a "blueberry" fruit bar wrapper in his backpack]
ME: "What's taking you so long?"
SON: [Jumps slightly, but can not answer as half a fruit bar will fall from his over stuffed mouth]
ME: Go to your room and wait for me there.....
You can guess what happened next on this one.
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4 comments:
lol, eventually they do figure out we've been pulling their legs, but it is fun while it lasts!
I think I'm going to go to the kitchen and get me a snack. Wait... You can't teleport can you?
My mom used to always tell us, she had eyes in the back of her head and sees everything!! She also had "Mother Hearing" G-D gives them to all mothers! LOL!!!
I tink I no wat happend
Ha ha ha - those are FANTASTIC. I was giggling away. And I'm in a training class and shouldn't be giggling. sigh. probably a bad time to be catching up on blogs eh?
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