Hard Hat and a Hammer

I love this song. True to heart. True to the heart of America. True to our roots.

Enjoy on this beautiful sunshiny Saturday!

Hard Hat and a Hammer

Stand UP COMEDY!

I love stand up. I just love to laugh. I love the feeling my body gets from laughing so hard that I tear up, fall out of a chair and almost tee myself.

YouTube can offer many resources to flip a frown right upside down. Deb mentioned on FB that the time was shalagging along. Hearing the Tick and the Tock of the clock in her head; or maybe her watch was sending it via her pulse she was dragging.

So, I offered comedy. Of course once I fell into YouTube looking for just the right 'bit' I wanted to share, I found TONS and TONS and have been glued to the bar stool since (with exceptions of Mama come see my room, Mama help me with your CD player, FW finish the floors in the Bed Room). :-)

Here's some 'bits' to share:



This one is hilarious but only for the hard core stand up lovers. There IS some vulgarity in it and I don't just mean language (something about a yoga class and a Gal and what she could reach on herself) GASP FW! Really? You'd post that?

Well, not typically but if it gets ya' to the part about where he joined the gym and thought he could box? Yea, I'll make the exception!

Just be sure to have your VOLUME down and/or CHILDREN OUT of the room..... Or, use headphones.  Or better yet, fast forward it to the middle so you get to the non-vulgar, funny part.

[I removed the Rodney Carrington because the boxing bit was hilarious but I decided I didn't want the first part on my blog. So, you can go search it on YouTube if you are really interested] ;-)

Here's a clean Jeff Dunham and Walter skit! Hillarious for a final finally for this post! It's all about MARRIAGE, ROFL!!!!



HAPPY "IT'S THE FIRST DARNEST DAY OF SCHOOL'S OUT SUMMER HERE"!

AND, It's FWFD of the weeeeeeeeeeeek! Super-Squeeeeee!

Stand UP COMEDY!

School Awards! I passed as a parent! :-)

Today was the assembly for school awards.  Lil'Gal rocked it out of the ball park!

Her and her buddy, Ray-Ray brought first grade reading to a new level.  Also, the kindergarten class all read a minimum of 50 books this year, making this the first year they were recognized (with medals) for their reading abilities!

This is one of the reasons why I love our little school.  The teacher dedication to reading and math (and second/third grade science, blech!  Juuuust kiddin'!) is awesomely unbeatable!

Though, we are working on our way to transfer into the bigger school within our area because it is getting to be that time in their life -- and our little school doesn't teach past fourth grade. [Hush WonderMom, bite'eth your tongue'eth -- she doesn't want us to transfer.] ;-)

Here is my Lil'Gal (The First Video; there is a secret surprise video at the end of this post).




Here is Farmer, Jr.  I clipped the beginning trying to turn the flip cam back on.  The replacement batteries were low as they hadn't been recharged in awhile.

94.5 AR points accumulate or calculates to somewhere around 200 books.  It depends because chapter books are longer but typically only count for .5 points; though, a few count for more than an average book.  I dunno.  But, he done good!




Here is the big kicker!  We only had two first graders this year in our school.  ONLY TWO.  Out of AAAAAAALLLL the Lutheran Schools across the USA our two students beat the pie out of the rest of the schools as a class.  Many of the Lutheran schools have admissions of 100, 200, etc.  Though, there are some smaller schools like ours.

Lil'Gal and her adorable pal, Ray-Ray tore those big schools with more first grade readers a 'new one.'  If ya' will,  --------------->;  Me, Proud Mama!!!!




And, with that?  Tomorrow we end the 2009-2010 school year with a party and dismissal at noon.

SWEEEEEEEET?  TOTTTALLLY!  [I don't know why I have to keep saying that...]

School Awards! I passed as a parent! :-)

Why I need vacation internet access...

Howdy!

Happy Tuesday, almost Hump [Diggity] Day, almost the last 1/2 day of school before Friday!  Friday is FW favorite day of the week -- which most of y'all know by now.  But, during summer almost every day is like Friday and that makes almost every day FWFD of the weeeeeeeeeeek!

In fact today?  I've been living like it is Friday.  No homework.  Maybe a couple of lunches to pack.  But, no stresses and school functions and fundraisers and yada-yada and so the house is in pretty fabo-clean condition.  Baseboards were dusted earlier this week but I haven't SHARKED the floors yet as I want to leave the place with the full on smell of Pine-Sol when we head out to Float pee in the FRIO!  Sweeeeeeeet!   TOOOOTALLY.... >:-D

But, there is one issue that has plagued me.  No tiene internet access at our cabins.  I'm hoping this is the year.  Last year I stood on the railing at Tech Guy and Bex's cabin and was barely able to balance Macxine on my thigh so that I could use the WiFi signal from the house/mansion beyond the fence and next door to the cabins.  >;-)  Me so Smart!!

I was actually able to check my emails and even catch up with Lis one evening.  Sure, my phone gets out and I can do a little FB and stuff (I didn't FB last year, remember?  It took me awhile to fall prey to the cult).  But, there is nothing as close to me and Macxine skipping through cyber space.

Oh, yeah.  I know.  We are at the river to 'relax' and take a break.  And, I totally do.  I drink a lot of sugar induced (ie: fermented into alcohol) drinks while I'm there.  I sit up high on a warm rock and bake in the sun (with 50 SPF) while the rest of our group hangs out in the chilly waters.  [That's probably why they call it the FRIO... LOL].

But, I have to be connected.  I'm addicted.  I'm a tech fool.  I'm not overboard but I do have a Lap Top that I DO NOT share, a Google Phone, a Kindle (thanks, Honey) and now an iPod.  FYI, I might add that they are all nice and white.  I like white.  Oh, the iPod doesn't come in white but y'all know me.  I found a white case for it so everything matches.  My Chariot is white and Hubby is thinking when he finally replaces his truck (it's been in the shop about three times in the last month and a half or so) he is thinking about getting pure white.  Sweeeeet!  We'll twinkie match!

Oh, but I got side tracked and digressed again. 

The point is, I'm super hoping that the WiFi will have finally been extended to our river cabins this year.  So, that in-between floats and early mornings and beer drinking evenings I can hop on and share what's going on with everyone; oh, and catch up on some more blogs.

Today?  I actually snuck in reads for almost half of the blogs I follow -- and comments too!  Whoo-Hooooo!

IIIIIIf we don't have WiFi extended to our cabins then I'll hitch a ride up with Tech Guy when he goes to check in with his clients and stuff because the little store across the water bridge, up the hill, around the bend, past the dip and wriggled around the path has WiFi and we can access the internet from there.

But, seein as I need vacation internet service...well, my fingers, ankles and others are crossed that they've extended it with a pretty ol'tower to cover our cabins.  Wouldn't that be Sweeeeeeeet?
TOOOOTALLY!!

So, Happy Connected Tuesday To Ya'll!  Summer is here weather wise and school is might near out!  Whoop!  I rocked the third-peat of First Grade!  Repeating Second grade 30 years later was  a little harder but I'm hoping to be more successful  next year.  Only, I'll be majoring in three-peat of Second Grade and Repeat of Third.  OH. MY.

Leave that to August.  For now?  FW is ready to PAAAARTAY!

[Oh great.  Now that Barbie song is in my head.  "I feel connected...blah.blah'ed...."] Plft! :-)

Happy Tuesday!  Wait, No.  Happy EVERYTHING!!!!

Why I need vacation internet access...

I WANT CANDY!!

I want CANDY!  Okay, not really.  Y'all know I don't want candy.  I don't even like candy.  In fact, I pretty much despise candy because I just don't get the seductive allure it has.  I dislike the toxic power it has over my children.  And, generally, I'm just not a candy Gal.

BUT!  I do like the song!  Heard it on the way home this morning! 



So, with that have a Total-Riffic Tuesday!  And, if YOU like candy then indulge yourself a little. ;-)

I WANT CANDY!!

I DON'T wanna' be RIGHT...

This afternoon while driving the kids home from school, I found my mind wandering through so many things as it often does.  Farmer, Jr.'s tests tomorrow, end of school next week, grocery shopping tomorrow, when will I schedule my subpoena service (part of my mobile notary side job), packing for the river trip, etc.

People, friends, family, conversations -- it all goes through my mind.  And, at one point I found myself thinking about a particular incident from the past and I thought, Well, I hope 'this-and-that' happens so 'so-and-so's' will know that I was right.  [I wanted to be right so that I could be validated that past decisions were made in the best interest of my family.]

Then, I thought to myself, "Do I really want to be right?"  What would that mean?  What would be the conclusion of that.  Who would be hurt?  Just because I had a twinge of wanting to be justified.

And, then I thought to myself.  "NO.  I do not want to be right.  I just want to be happy.  Content.  Healthy.  All of this is what I want for my family."  I have all of this, without confirmation of being 'right.'

My thoughts went on.  How many times have we so wanted to make sure that some 'so-and-so' gets a wake up call that we were correct in whatever the situation might have been/be?  And, who really benefits from it?

Isn't it better to walk away, knowing that we've made the best decision we can for ourself, our family  and/or for whatever other reasons necessary?  I think yes.  So, I said a little prayer under my breath.  I told the Lord that I don't want to be right [it was a self-righteous fight within because there was a cell within me that did, for whatever reason], but that I want the 'so-and-so's' of the world to be happy and healthy.  AND,

I want myself and my own to be happy and healthy.  I'm not perfect.  And, I can be judgmental [I'm embarrassed to say].  I found that out when I previously posted a nasty, angry, ugly post a few months ago.  At which point I was approached by someone and we communicated and I immediately felt ugly inside for having posted it in the first place -- it came down within 24 hours from going up anyhow.

Lesson I learned:  It is okay to VENT but not to JUDGE.  Let he who is 'better than others and without ill will, or who is perfect and never makes mistakes' cast the first stone/tainted words/gossip....

Not to get all religious and Bible beating but I have to say our Priest gave a sermon awhile back and he explained a story that in all of my childhood 'Baptist' upbringing, I'd NEVER, HEARD, this wee little part.

It was the story about the whore whom the community chased to a corner and were ready to stone because of her prostitution and 'illegal/unacceptable' behavior.  Apparently, Jesus was writing in the dirt while he addressed the group and as he said, "He who is without sin, cast the first stone."

What I didn't know before, was that Jesus was writing the transgressions of those within the group in the dirt for all to see.  As he did this the group disbanded, one by one.  Imagine the embarrassment they felt as they saw their own flaws [that they kept covered] written in the dirt for all to see.  It is tough to be faced with one's own ill-will, one's own faults, one's own selfishness, one's own transgressions.

Today I concluded that sometimes being "RIGHT" is in a way, a transgression against others all in its own. That being right, can often be very wrong.

I don't want to be wrong.  But, I also don't want to be right.  I want to be happy, blessed, content.

Dr. Phil once said [okay, he's said it a million times] "Do ya' wanna' be RIGHT?  Or, do ya' wanna' be HAPPY?  Don't be a RIGHT fighter."  He typically used this in dealing with marital relationships, making the point to the husband and wife that, is what they are fighting about really so important that they end up miserable all the time?

No.  Generally, the answer will be No.

So, I don't wanna' be right.  And, I'm really happy about that! ;-)  Isn't it amazing how one little thought that crosses our mind can become such a huge self revelation?  Truly.

Happy Hump-Diggity Day!  School's out in a week!  Sweeeeet!  TOOOtally!

I DON'T wanna' be RIGHT...

Having a Flip Flop Birthday Party!

Howdy Y'all! So, the party has come and gone and now I'm sitting down to share all the little diddies that brought it to fruition.

Typically, I'd take more detail with showing the invitations but see'in' as I've been so stretched for time, I took a pic of each part of the invites all together. FYI, I did edit the locations within the invitation. Not because I don't trust y'all but just because it IS cyber space.

So this was to be a "Pedicure Party" where Lil'Gal got to choose a limited few of her closest friends/family to join her for a real pedicure for each at the salon where myself and Sweet D go. [They are nice, clean and very reasonably priced....]

Using a beach sand paper, I covered the front of a blank white prefabricated card.

Then, I borrowed my SIL's flip flop die which cuts both a flip flop and a foot to go in it.  Using glitter glue, I 'painted' the toe nails on the feet and assembled and adhered to the prefabricated cards, as if the flip flops and feet were in the sand.  [FYI, I always outline the die cuts (flip flops, etc.) with a marker to make the edges "POP" off the background.]  I adhered them with styrofoam sticker adhesives because it lifts the flip flop off the page giving it a 3 dimensional appearance. :-)

I came up with the language for the inside of the invite and printed on vellum paper.  Then, with a ribbon punch, I punched and tied ribbons to the inside of the card to hold the vellum with information to it.

Whala, finis!

After invitation it is PARTY FAVOR time!  I decided to make the gals each their own pair of ribbon tied flip flops.  This was a really simple and inexpensive project; though, a little time consuming (work on it while watching a good TV show).  My only mistake was not actually inquiring about the girls shoe sizes because the two eight year olds feet were two big for the sets I made. :-(  I promised them, and my niece, I'd make them all a pair in a larger size.

As you can see, I have LOTTSA' ribbon.  This is only about half of my supply.  Next to paper on sale, ribbon is my second addiction.  Never at full price though. ;-)  I did pick up a few extra rolls as I knew I'd go through a few patterns quickly with seven pairs of flip flops to make.

I'd previously purchased flip flops on sale.  And, then I simply cut and tied color coordinating ribbons with different textures and patterns to the straps of the flip flops.

NEXT?  PROJECT FLIP FLOP CAKE.

"Mama, I want one chocolate and one vanilla."  Okay, can do.

Now, I'm pretty sure 99.9% that they [some manufacturer] make a flip flop cake pan. But, I didn't think I needed to hunt one down and I spared myself the additional expenditure.  I'm thinking now, that it might be nice to have an actual flip flop shaped cake pan, because it is really hard to get a smooth, cleanly iced surface on a cut part of cake.  Frozen or not....

Using two boxes of cake mix, I filled a larger/deeper 9x13 pan with the double batch of cake batter and baked at the specified temp for close to an hour.  It takes longer for a cake to cook this way but it is easier to work with -- rather than baking two thinner cakes and then stacking with frosting and then having to cut them into the Flip-Flop shape.

I repeated this once for chocolate and once for vanilla.  Then, I wrapped the cakes in saran wrap and froze them until the next day.  While the cakes were baking I made up three batches of butter cream icing.

The next day I drew my template and cut the flip flop shape from the rectangular cakes.

[I forgot to take a picture after I cut the cakes; and these have already been frosted over a crumb layer.  But you get the idea of what I did.]

Going with Lil'Gal's color scheme, I frosted the cakes in hot pink icing.  She wanted the sides to be solid lime green, but with the flip flops being so close together, there was just no way I could do that evenly.  So, instead, I outlined the edges by adorning them in a flower tipped pattern -- in, of course -- lime green.

STRAPS: I should have just used twizzlers.  But all I could find were red, so I thought I'd use fruit roll ups instead (but they don't make'em like they used to).  I also didn't find it fathomable to pay almost $2.00 for two - four yellow twizzlers out of a large pack of mixed colors (when I did finally come across some).

Last minute, finding I'd screwed myself made a bad judgment call, I decided to cut the straps from some transparency film I had on hand.  Then, using lollipop sticks (also luckily on hand from another project) I supported the straps and then iced them in the same flower pattern.

Add some sugar candy flowers around the edges and a faux flower to the top of the strap and PERFECION!

Not bad, huh?

Lil'Gal was thrilled!  And, that is what is is all about, right?

Of course, I'll admit, I was a little thrilled too!

;-)

THE DAY OF.....

Yesterday morning the weather was a field flooder.  Though, some places got an inch, some got four, some got a trickle.  But for where we are and from where WonderMom and another Mom were coming from it was awful and pretty much undriveable.

We all thought we were going to be late and the whole pedicure thing was going to fall apart, but we ended up making it just a few minutes short of on time.  And, that included waiting on the weather, on WonderMom (she road with me since she is further out from 'the Big'ol City' than I) and we had to pick up Mrs. Congenial's daughter on the way.

There's my (not so little anymore) Gal now, getting special treatment... ;-)

OOOOOooooh, AAAAAhhhhh, so pretty!  The little -- well not so little anymore -- Gals all loved getting pampered.

We had to cut down on the guest list to do this but it was worth it; something special with close friends.

LAST:  Return home for pizza, presents and...

FLIP FLOPS!

Candle Time!

CAKE TIME!

Happy 7th Birthday Lil'Gal!  XOXOXOXOXOs

Having a Flip Flop Birthday Party!

No one told the TOOTH FAIRY!!!

Since when does it seem indifferent knowledge to the parents that a new/old/baby tooth is loose? Since when does the parent/s find out about 30 minutes before the loose tooth is 'lost' from it's infantile gum bassinet? Apparently, since N-O-W, NOW!

Farmer, Jr., "Hey!  My tooth is really loose!  I think I'm gonna' lose it!"

Me and Hubby, "Yeah?"

Fast forward 45 minutes including a bath.

Farmer, Jr., "HEY!  GUESS WHAT!!  I lost my tooth!"

Me and Hubby, [inside shock, unprepared panic, and mental explicative] "WHAT!?!  [I mean] Whaaaat?  Reeeally?  Since when has it been loose?"

Farmer, Jr. "Oh awhile now..."

Me [and me only, Hubby has ventured on], "Um, Cool.  But, Why didn't you tell me it was loose?"

Farmer, Jr., "Thought it didn't matter until I lost it!  I'm hoping the Tooth Fairy will bring me a Pillow Pet!  I'm going to write my note right NOW!"  [exiting, skipping and overly jubilantly].

Me, "OKAY, but you know.  That's a small tooth. And, Pillow Pets cost...what, $20 - $30 dollars?  I don't think the Tooth Fairy could swing that for one tooth...."

Farmer, Jr. "Oh, but it's not about the money.  The Tooth Fairy doesn't have to buy them.  She already has them.  You just have to ask!"

Me, "Um...yeah...um.  Well, write your note and good luck! We'll see how that works out what she brings in the morning... [insert supportive smile].

Now, off to tuck kids in and then the Tooth Fairy will have to write a heart felt note letting Farmer, Jr. down easily; also, admitting that the Tooth Fairy isn't made of toys or money. But.  That.  He can apply his tooth earnings towards the toy of his choosing.....

BESIDE all that...I just want to ask.  WHEN did the Mama TOOTH FAIRY get bypassed from the pre-loss of the tooth?  The rules have been broken; times ARE'A changing....

Happy, it's just about Hump-Diggity DAY! YAY!

No one told the TOOTH FAIRY!!!

Quirks Post; Play along, won'tcha?

This is a Quirk's post. I hope y'all play along.

1) I rearrange the eggs.

I was just rearranging the eggs in the egg carton after selecting two to scramble up for Farmer, Jr. Why was I rearranging them? I don't know. It is just something I've always done. I like the carton to look and feel balanced. Sometimes...I'll even use an extra egg -- just so that the carton balances out right.

Ya'll already know how I feel about the butter and peanut butter from This Post.

I'm a sock/sock, shoe/shoe Gal.

Toilet Paper; most of y'all already know how adamant I am about this from this post: Under or Over.

As for now, I'm off to start the rest of my morning. I'll check back later to see what quirks the rest of you choose to share! ;-)

Happy "QUIRKY" Monday! Make it a fun one!

Quirks Post; Play along, won'tcha?

Public Service Announcement

Because I know that YOU wanna KNOW:

[Editor's note:  To those that DON'T wanna' know?  Sorry, my blog = my announcement/s] :-D




Your welcome.

Public Service Announcement

I met a GUY....

FIRST:  Facebook has been a total pie-Bleep-hole today.  Constantly unavailable, hardly posting a single comment.  Heaven forbid I try to 'Like' someone's comment.  So don't think FW is bein' all dissy-prissy.  I just can't get anything posted over there.

SECONDLY:  Yeah!  I totally met a guy!  I know, y'all are all "But FW!!!  For Shame!  You are a married woman!  And, we were all under the impression that you were 'happily' in that married state."

Don't get your undies wadded up.  I met a guy, with a GUY for Brandi...  But, it didn't work out. LOL!

I was getting out of my Chariot at the local Wally-World, and I saw this guy loading some stuff in his truck next to me.  He was on his phone and having a conversation with his/Mom/Sister/Girlfriend/Wife about toilet paper and tea or something; oh and bread, WHEAT bread. I think his shopping list was being evaluated.

Anyhow, there was this HUGE big BLACK DOG in the back of the truck (also black, coincidence?).  Just a droolin'a and a'lookin' all friendly and all of that.  He was standing up on the side of the bed at about ten feet in the air.  THEN, I recognized the face...  Mastiff???   I didn't know they came in black....

Apparently, they do.  This dog was "Italian" or something.  The guy wasn't totally sure -- leaving me with the assumption he didn't get his pup directly from a breeder.  But, the dog obviously had a love for (and lotsa' drool for) his owner. :-)  Sooo sweeeet!

So, I mention to the guy, "Hey?  Is that a.....Mastiff?"

The GUY:  "Yeah...Italian?   Oh, I get confused..."

ME:  "He's black!  I didn't think there was a breed in black, but then I don't follow all the breeds."

GUY: [Rubbing extremely large dog with red looking eyes] "Yep."

ME:  "I have an English Mastiff...  [Pause]  She's the BEST dog I've EVER had."

GUY:  "You have a female?"  [insert large smile]

ME:  "Yeah!  We adopted...  Just love her!"

GUY:  "You wanna' breed?" *SNICKER*SNORT*

ME:  [Really wanting to, I've thought about it -- hate that she's fixed...]  Oh, she's fixed.  We adopted her from animal control..."

GUY:  "Oh, that's sad [that someone would give up such a great breed]...."

ME:  "I know...  Otherwise, I'd TOTALLY LOVE TO..."

We exchange courtesies and I give his big dog another loving glance....  Then, I head off to grocery shop while he heads home with his toilet paper, tea, [WHEAT] bread and what not....

I will add.  His Mastiff was probably a year or two younger than Brandi -- and a few pounds, just a hair or two, lighter...  he he he!  My sweet, loveable, full-figured Gal! :-)

I met a GUY....

This week's VOCABULARY

So, another fundraiser said and done.  The school bar-b-que did okay.  Our church also had a chicken bar-b-que the week before.  And, our town had a chicken bar-b-que today for ambulance funds.  Needless to say, we've had our fill of bar-b-que'd chicken.

I can't say as much for the rummage sale.  I wouldn't call that one so much of a fundraiser; more like a collection of pocket change.  *sigh*  But, it is done.  And, we now have a few extra nickels and dimes in the PTL account.

So, with that said, let's review FW vocabulary list of the week.  Pay close attention, there might be a pop quiz sometime later this week.  AND, maybe if I find the time and energy a prize will be offered.

FW VOCABULARY, May 1st, 2010:

Pooped -- a slang referring to the feeling of being physically and/or emotionally expended. Could also be another term for the expulsion of trash product within one's bowels.
Whooow-Whee!  I'm pooped!
Gosh'Dang, the dog dun' pooped in the yard again!

Sicka -- The feeling one gets when over exposed to a particular item, food, or activity.
I'm sicka chicken bar-b-que's and fundraisers.

Hertin' -- a condition or action that in one way or another ends up to be a painful situation.
I drank so dang much last night I woke up a'hertin.
If  you don't get in there and clean up your room, I'm gonna' put a hertin' on you!

Domelo -- a term to request something, typically used after one has drank multiple beers and would like one more.
Domelo un beer.  Domelo otra'mas cervesa.

Sumbich -- something that causes aggravation; could also be a term of endearment.
I put all my might into it and I STILL couldn't get that sumbich to move.
I know, he can be hornery but I still love the sumbich.

Como-queno -- What do you mean you can't/do it/finish it/find it/insert other 'to do'.  Can also mean What the F![explicative], typically used under duress and fatigue...and sometimes frustration.
Como-queno you can't fix my stool?
Como-queno? I'm out of wine?!?

Okay, these are easie peasie and I'm hard-pie tarred... That's southern, for Tired.  Taared...  ;-)

Happy Saturday "Oh cr@p it's almost Sunday, already...."  FW least favorite time of the week...

This week's VOCABULARY