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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I DON'T wanna' be RIGHT...

This afternoon while driving the kids home from school, I found my mind wandering through so many things as it often does.  Farmer, Jr.'s tests tomorrow, end of school next week, grocery shopping tomorrow, when will I schedule my subpoena service (part of my mobile notary side job), packing for the river trip, etc.

People, friends, family, conversations -- it all goes through my mind.  And, at one point I found myself thinking about a particular incident from the past and I thought, Well, I hope 'this-and-that' happens so 'so-and-so's' will know that I was right.  [I wanted to be right so that I could be validated that past decisions were made in the best interest of my family.]

Then, I thought to myself, "Do I really want to be right?"  What would that mean?  What would be the conclusion of that.  Who would be hurt?  Just because I had a twinge of wanting to be justified.

And, then I thought to myself.  "NO.  I do not want to be right.  I just want to be happy.  Content.  Healthy.  All of this is what I want for my family."  I have all of this, without confirmation of being 'right.'

My thoughts went on.  How many times have we so wanted to make sure that some 'so-and-so' gets a wake up call that we were correct in whatever the situation might have been/be?  And, who really benefits from it?

Isn't it better to walk away, knowing that we've made the best decision we can for ourself, our family  and/or for whatever other reasons necessary?  I think yes.  So, I said a little prayer under my breath.  I told the Lord that I don't want to be right [it was a self-righteous fight within because there was a cell within me that did, for whatever reason], but that I want the 'so-and-so's' of the world to be happy and healthy.  AND,

I want myself and my own to be happy and healthy.  I'm not perfect.  And, I can be judgmental [I'm embarrassed to say].  I found that out when I previously posted a nasty, angry, ugly post a few months ago.  At which point I was approached by someone and we communicated and I immediately felt ugly inside for having posted it in the first place -- it came down within 24 hours from going up anyhow.

Lesson I learned:  It is okay to VENT but not to JUDGE.  Let he who is 'better than others and without ill will, or who is perfect and never makes mistakes' cast the first stone/tainted words/gossip....

Not to get all religious and Bible beating but I have to say our Priest gave a sermon awhile back and he explained a story that in all of my childhood 'Baptist' upbringing, I'd NEVER, HEARD, this wee little part.

It was the story about the whore whom the community chased to a corner and were ready to stone because of her prostitution and 'illegal/unacceptable' behavior.  Apparently, Jesus was writing in the dirt while he addressed the group and as he said, "He who is without sin, cast the first stone."

What I didn't know before, was that Jesus was writing the transgressions of those within the group in the dirt for all to see.  As he did this the group disbanded, one by one.  Imagine the embarrassment they felt as they saw their own flaws [that they kept covered] written in the dirt for all to see.  It is tough to be faced with one's own ill-will, one's own faults, one's own selfishness, one's own transgressions.

Today I concluded that sometimes being "RIGHT" is in a way, a transgression against others all in its own. That being right, can often be very wrong.

I don't want to be wrong.  But, I also don't want to be right.  I want to be happy, blessed, content.

Dr. Phil once said [okay, he's said it a million times] "Do ya' wanna' be RIGHT?  Or, do ya' wanna' be HAPPY?  Don't be a RIGHT fighter."  He typically used this in dealing with marital relationships, making the point to the husband and wife that, is what they are fighting about really so important that they end up miserable all the time?

No.  Generally, the answer will be No.

So, I don't wanna' be right.  And, I'm really happy about that! ;-)  Isn't it amazing how one little thought that crosses our mind can become such a huge self revelation?  Truly.

Happy Hump-Diggity Day!  School's out in a week!  Sweeeeet!  TOOOtally!



The Queen said...

we have 24,654 seconds of school left.. Not that I'm county or anything!

Sonya said...

This is a great entry. I know God is blessing you for your prayer and wanting to do and "think" the right things. God bless you for it.

Prohomemaker.Com said...

Great -- and very thought -provoking -- post.

Baseball Mom said...

Thank You! You will never know how much I needed that post. right.this.very.moment.

I agree Pro .. very thought-provoking-post.

Farmer*swife a/k/a Glass_Half_Full said...

Thank y'all so much for the shared comments. Self revelation comes sometimes on a whim.

The fact that y'all got it... and commented in support.

Well, that is why I love my blog friends and all friends.


Farmer*swife a/k/a Glass_Half_Full said...

Queen you've counted it down to the hours/minutes? Gosh I haven't had time to count it down that way.

I'm clocking it off by tests, activities and get out of school/skip stupid stuff days! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Great post. And a great reminder for us all. Thanks for sharing.

One question - what is the basis for your priest saying WHAT Jesus was writing in the dirt? I've never heard that interpretation before, and it's an interesting one I'd like to look more into.


Farmer*swife a/k/a Glass_Half_Full said...

Em, good question. It was probably stated in the reading of the gospel so it might be in our missalette.

I'll try to remember to look it back up or to bring it home...

Lisa said...

Great way of thinking my dear! I too have been bad at visiting Ill be better!