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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Why I Hate Halloween

I've blogged in years past about my dislike for Halloween.  I've also blogged that in the past two years I have been the one to host a fall costume party for my children and their friends.

Did I decide Halloween was fun?  Hardly.  Could I afford to cheat my children of this somewhat "Americanized as Sacred Holiday"?  Nope.

Sure when they were young.  But now they have external influences, ie: friends who love Halloween.  And, making costumes is fun this year I totally bombed out and purchased cheap disguises from Wal-mart and y'all have seen in the past that I am good at it.

However, the whole door-to-door pan-handling for candy thing is way beyond acceptability for me.  And, it's not the begging since we all know I do a little comment/read me/read-me-over-here/read-me-over-there begging from time to time.

I choose to keep my kids at home and host a fun party for their friends and folks at our house where I know the whos, and the whats and the activities and the eats and the games and the tricks and the treats.  I like to be 'aware' in control like that.

My disdain for Halloween is based on more than the candy.  Though, y'all know I hate candy; candy should be outlawed; or, maybe they could make people who consumed candy wear a monitor like x-ray techs that would sound an alarm and cut one off when they had exceeded the safe level of candy intake.

Candy makes my sweet Lil'Gal turn into an out of control demon, horns, forked tongue, tail and all. I have found her stashes (stolen from the pantry, BTW) under her bed, in her closet, wrappers hidden in the dirty laundry, inside a sock.

She has no control when it comes to candy.  We tried to admit her to a CLA (Candy Lovers Anonymous) but AA said their is no such thing.  Really?  With all the -candy-over-indulgers?

Everyone knows cigarettes can kill.  And drinkin' too much. But, where is the self-help for candy???

To help you better understand me, let me share via a list:

A)  The Candy = I HATE candy.  You know that song "IIIIIIII want Candy?"  Yeah, like the song but only because I think it is about a girl named Candy.  If you are named Candy then no hate intended.  If you are candy then I distain you.

B)  Safety = Who are we kidding.  Of course now days most parents take their kids through the neighborhood to the houses of peeps they know and trust.  But there are still parents out there who just let their kids go roaming (some with a driver to other neighborhoods) for alternative venues in search of free candy.

C)  Candy = Empty $$ Pocketbook!!!  Candy is expensive!  Lucky for me I live in the country.  If someone comes up and rings my doorbell?  It won't be for candy and they won't be greeted with candy either. [If you ring my doorbell?  That means I don't know you AND, more importantly you don't know me.  That means I greet you armed and dangerous.  That means you'll probably be leaving very soon.] LOL!

D) WEIRDos = The stupid, crazy-monger people come out.  Doing more than pranks, but ill-will.  The 31st is simply the day after the 30th and they day before November 1st.  The month where we are all about being forgiving and thankful and sharing.  Yet, on Halloween, there are gatherings of people who think that skinning a cat, gutting a dog, cow, goat, or worse - exchanging blood in some unfathomable to me process will 'empower' them because it's any day of the week of the year been designated as "Halloween".

True, I do hold a soft spot for a certain vampire (or three), some of whom partake in the blood exchange process.  But, that's fiction (And, they actually have fangs. Among other things). >;-) he, he, he...

I realize that 90% of America luuuuuuuuvs Halloween.  While I'm one of the 10% who could truly do without it, I will now step down off my soap box and let the rest of you enjoy your Haunted Holiday.  And.  Your candy.

With that rant, Happy almost FWFD of the WEEK!!!!



Knight said...

I think I know a Halloween candy you might enjoy!

Caramel Apple Martini

Caramel sundae syrup
1 ounce apple-flavored vodka
1 ounce Sour Apple Pucker schnapps
1 ounce butterscotch schnapps
Slice of Granny Smith apple for garnish

Drizzle a swirl of caramel in empty martini glass. Pour liquors into a shaker over ice and mix. Strain into glass. Garnish with thin slice of apple.

Now that's gotta get you in the party mood!

Farmer*swife a/k/a Glass_Half_Full said...

That does sound good; extremely sweet but that would be fun to make for friends! THX!

Melissa said...

Ugh. I dislike Halloween, too. I *hate* spending the money - costumes, treats for classroom parties - and I *hate* all the candy in the house. We take our kids to a neighborhood we trust and know, but it's such a pain in the arse (especially if the weather doesn't cooperate). And the fact it disrupts our nightly schedule just makes it all the more bad in my book.

Farmer*swife a/k/a Glass_Half_Full said...

So there are two of us in that 10%. ;-)

And, you are right about the evening/week night/school night routine too!

Gary's third pottery blog said...

I think B and D here are key. I would NEVER want my kids taking strangers' candy OR going out and around with all the weirdos out there, no way! I have always said what you say Gal: certain people, like a group of kids from school or church or the neighborhood have a party. if your kid is not involved with one of those, a lot of malls and downtowns have store to store trick or treat which is FANTASTIC. Good advertising for the store, a lot of goodwill, trustworthy.

kcinnova said...

Churches have some great alternative-to-Halloween parties; some offer "trunk or treat" options. We've tried it many ways (including living in Germany where no one trick-or-treated). I have mixed feelings about Halloween.
That said, step away from my chocolate and no one gets hurt! (Also, never schedule an appointment at the doctor's office around Halloween. The candy really messes with your blood sugars!)