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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Farmer*swife Family Conversations

Last week: ME: [Looking in mirror, tousling hair and making sexy, sultry pouty faces with my lips] DH: "Does your head itch?" ME: "No, I'm tousling my hair and making sexy faces." DH: "Oh, I thought maybe you had dandruff..." ME: [To myself, "so much for sexy."] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Weeks ago: ME: [Peering out window, admiring a visiting hawk as he hunts for prey across our front pasture] "Kids, come look at the hawk! SON: "Mama, how long are you going to watch that hawk?" ME: "I don't know....a minute? Maybe two? Are you the slacker police or something?" [Super-sonic Super-Mom ears hear an ever so slightly "clink".] ME: [Still peering out window] "Son, you better put that Hersheys' kiss back in the candy bowl from where you got it, right now." SON: [Amazed at my super abilities] "Mama, how did you KNOW?" ME: "God gave all Mama's eyes in the back of their heads." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Recently: DAUGHTER: "Want me to brush your hair, Mama?" ME: "Sure!" [I assume the position on the floor and daughter proceeds brushing and styling.] SON: [Enters room, approaches me and begins tussling my hair all over the place] ME: "What are you doing?" SON: "Looking for those eyes in the back of your head!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This morning: SON: "Can I have a fruit bar?" ME: "You just had a whole bean, egg and cheese taco for breakfast!" SON: "You don't make'em as big as the taco place." ME: "That's because you don't get a snack an hour later after the taco place." SON: [Enters pantry] ME: "Get out of the pantry." SON: [Exits strangely and takes the long way around the Island] ME: "Put the blueberry fruit bar on the island, NOW." SON: [Again, amazed at my mind reading super-ability, places "blueberry" fruit bar on island] ME: "You may put the fruit bar in your backpack for your snack at school today." SON: [Exits] ME: [All knowing Super-Mom alarm sensor goes off in my head. I approach Utility room and peep in to find son placing a "blueberry" fruit bar wrapper in his backpack] ME: "What's taking you so long?" SON: [Jumps slightly, but can not answer as half a fruit bar will fall from his over stuffed mouth] ME: Go to your room and wait for me there..... You can guess what happened next on this one.


Anonymous said...

lol, eventually they do figure out we've been pulling their legs, but it is fun while it lasts!

captain corky said...

I think I'm going to go to the kitchen and get me a snack. Wait... You can't teleport can you?

Anonymous said...

My mom used to always tell us, she had eyes in the back of her head and sees everything!! She also had "Mother Hearing" G-D gives them to all mothers! LOL!!!

I tink I no wat happend

Newt said...

Ha ha ha - those are FANTASTIC. I was giggling away. And I'm in a training class and shouldn't be giggling. sigh. probably a bad time to be catching up on blogs eh?