I wasn't totally thrilled with the "character" pic. If you click to enlarge it you will see that this is possibly a "cross-dressing" rock star? Face like a guy and half a Gal's body? I'm not sure. But to each his/her own. Luckily, in a sudden "light-bulb" moment, my character for my story developed.
Objective emmitted "transition" and "movement" to me.
The Setting is just a beautiful shot. Leave's me with the feeling that the city is so loud, yet so quietly beautiful from afar.
This little guy was kinda' hard too at first because I felt like he upset the whole "mood" that was developing in my story. Like he didn't fit. But, then he fell into place.
The bird, I really enjoy. Fit just right.
Anyhow, that's my little take on the pics for this month's challenge. The way my mind works, is just suddenly it starts narrating the story in my head and then I hit the keyboard when time allows to grasp the general concept. And, I re-visit it later to finish it up.
Let me know what you think!
"A Life to Love"
I made bad choices, on purpose. I went wild. Before that day, I wasn't a wild person. I was well rounded and fit into that "pretty little box" all wrapped in ribbon. The box all mom's and dad's want to wrap their children up in. I wanted out of that box before I smothered. I no longer fit in that box.
When we fell into each other's lives, we never spent a moment apart. Our kisses were so sweet and soft. And, when we made love we were one in motion. It wasn't about the sex. It was about us. We were calm, cool, rousing, and at the same time energized by one another. We were the cliche'. "They'll be over each other in a summer." "It's just puppy love." All the things older people say because they are jealous of the fact that they are so tied up in "presenting themselves" in their facade, they can no longer love like us.
Gosh we truly were so magnificent together. So in love. The kind of love and passion you feel after watching one of those romantic movies about young love. Like "A Walk to Remember." Yea, we were like that. That's the kind of love we shared.
While away, I experimented with life. I experimented with my sexuality. I experimented with drugs and similar paraphenalia. I became the "bad girl." In ways, I'm ashamed of that now though I probably shouldn't be. It was a learning experience and a freeing experience. I was LOUD and living out loud because I wanted to be louder than my life.
All the while singing out so loudly through my life doing whatever I wanted and whenever I felt like it. Singing a brashly metal song. Breaking all the rules and boundaries, but that other little song was always chirping softly in a far, cobwebbed corner of my mind. Like the tune of a bird....a Yellow Warbler. Those are common in the place I come from.
It's been so long since I've been back there. Fifteen years, give or take. After he left me I couldn't stand the quiet anymore. I had to get away. So I did. I left. And, I never looked back...too afraid I'd loose my nerve. It was just me and his sock puppet he'd left in the car.
So, here I sit. Hands tight, knuckles white on the wheel. His sock puppet still by my side. Fifteen years later I'm returning. Making that long, traveling, drive to all that I so desperately ran away from to escape. Fifteen years and yet I haven't delt with him leaving me yet.
It's getting quieter now. Fewer buildings, less cement and asphalt. More trees, and leaves and sky. I'm getting closer. I no longer see city blocks but I see mountains of landscape all created by a larger life source.
I can't believe he called me. How did he even find me? After all this time? He wants to be a part of my life. He wants me to be a part of his. Where does this understanding and forgiveness come from? I think by feeling it I am learning.
It was the creation of a love of a lifetime. But, when he left me I had to give it up. I feared I couldn't be the person that would be required of me. Sure, I've regretted it. But, so long as I lived so loudly I couldn't hear the regret in my mind and I couldn't feel the pain in my heart.
When I got the call, though? I heard it again and felt it again. And, it is on this drive that I will deal with it. I will mourn my loss and be great full for what is a new start.
Though, I lost the love of a lifetime, I realize I have second chance. Not many are so lucky. I will love him. I'll wrap him up in that perfect little box and tie him up sweetly with a big blue bow.
I no longer want to be loud. I no longer have to be loud. Had I only known or been wise enough back in the beginning to realize that I could have them both, in a way. Because my love of a lifetime lives on through our son. He left me something behind after all.
A comment. At the last minute I toyed with the idea of changing my main character to a guy, thus changing the gender rolls in the story. I think it would have read and made a little more sense in some ways. But, then I decided it would get too much away from the "character" in the picture. And, by keeping it the way it is, I thought it to be less easy to realize the ending before reading upon it.
Lastly, when conflicted about a decision I've always done best going with my first instinct. So, this is what I first wrote and I kept it this way.
Happy Reading and Happy Wednesday!