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Friday, April 4, 2008

If I were a Super Hero

So, I've been all stuck in my own little super hero world. I think it started out as the whole "Angel's" thing in another bloggie world. And, I'm always doing this "Wonder-Mom" Power? ACTIVATE!! Yea, I really do this too. I don't have a wonder twin so I have to do it by myself. Anyhow, in the back of my mind [and, in my general daily dialogue I have with myself in my head] I began concocting myself as a Super Hero. IF I were a Super Hero: I'd have the power of mind control. Not other's minds...but, my mind could control things. See? All my life I've had this dream pop in from time to time. I'm able move things with my mind. Like flip a light switch, move a pencil across a table...and, even at times levitate myself. I usually wake up with a headache...but, it's a really cool power in my dream. I'd be able to move around at warp speed (like the episode on Star Trek where Captain Kirk keeps hearing a buzzing? But, it is really another life form moving at such a incredible speed no one can actually see them. Of course, until they capture him and bring them into their "universe.") I would have a laptop that unfolded from my abdomen so that I'd have immediate access to the knowledge of the world. WAIT, nix that. That's just stupid. ACTUALLY..... My brain would house a computer and I could send messages (via my mind control) to the internet. There would be no reason to even have to type on a key board. I could think it all into existence. What a way to be in control of things. (Oh, and there would be a wireless internet access card in my brain, of course. And, it would be able to directly communicate with the satellites and servers, thus elimating monthly access fees). I'd be "stretchy" like Elasti-Girl. I'd also to have a lasso and an invisible jet. [The lasso would be fantastic for capturing and controling small children. The jet would just be really cool to have. All my friends would be like, "Hey! Really Cool jet! Can I have a ride?" And, I'd be all like, "Sure!"] My figured would be curvy in all the right ways (bein' stretchy and all, this would be easy). I'd have that long(er), flowing and full, "always perfect" super female hero hair. I'd be tooootally HOT!!!! I would have the ability to shoot bleach from the tip of my index finger. And, I could control the percentage of dilution and also the PSI and size of the spray. There would be no "germies" or mold or stains in my Super Hero world. My world would always be all "white and shiny." My other fingers would also be able to emit any chemical or cleaner I required. ie: Glass Cleaner, stainless steel polish, pledge, room "deotorizor" and so forth. I would be able to fly. But, I wouldn't have a cape. I'd have a super hero suit more like cat woman. Only hot pink and no ears. [The ears would just mess up my Super Hero hair.] I'd have the ability to morph. Not sure what I'd do with it yet...but, it'd still be pretty cool. I'd have the ability to do that "nose twinkle-twinkle" thingie Samantha did on "BeWitched." [I don't think I'd wanna' do the "I dream of Jeanie" thing...although, I do like to wear my hair I Dream of Jeanie style.] The "nose twinkle-twinkle" thingie would allow me to control behavior. Primarly? My children's. Oh, and I'd be a totally bad @$$ cool dancer! Like on "Cayote Ugly." I guess I'd be more of a cleaning super hero, but I'd still have the ability to fight bad guys. I'd be trained and knowledgeable in all forms of martial arts and other "kick ass" techniques. I'd be all, "Schwaka-Chacka You evil @$$hole!!!" And, the evil @$$hole would run away in fear and crying. [Corny, I know...I just like saying "Schwaka-Chacka! You should try it. It's really fun when I say it while jumping into my best karate stance!] Yea, leaves me feeling really empowered. Anyhow, my Super Hero self is still a work in progress. But, one day I'll have her perfected. Until then I'll just have to make due with the powers I currently have. Happy Friday, you Happy Heros!!


Knight said...

DH would probably like that lasso too! I saw that picture of the family you already are Toooootally Hot!!!!
I have to admit, bleach has never occurred to me as a super hero trait but it certainly works for you. So really, you just need a hot pink super hero suite and some sort of contraption that allows you to shoot cleaners from your hand... oh yeah, and mind control/internet access. Then you are good to go!

Jay said...

The only superpowers I want are to be able to be invisible, fly and have ex-ray vision. That's about all I would need to have a lot of fun.

Oh and fight crime and save the world too, if I have time. ;-)

Farmer*swife said...

knight Thanks for the ego support!!! Whoop! Now I gotta' do my cheerleader dance for myself!

(Your so sweet, and you always read me! Thanks!)

jay x-ray vision...I knew there was another one! Invisible would be nice except I want everyone to see me all hottie in my "hot pink" super suit! LOL!

R.E.H. said...

You already ARE a Super Hero! Do like those traits though... especially the direct internet access thing in your head - that would be sweet... then one could really blog on the go!

The moving things with your mind is called telekenesis... it is believed some people actually have this ability - I'll believe it when I see it ;)

BTW - I wonder what Jay would do with his super powers... ti-hiii (same as I would, I suppose).

Farmer*swife said...

r.e.h. yea, telekenesis. My mom and I used to play those ESP games when I was younger.

I have these dreams often. I've actually tried this in real life but I usually end up giving myself a headache.

SO cool in my dreams though.

Farmer*swife said...

[I realize the difference between ESP and telekenesis...but, in a way they are related.] :-}

RED said...

That's funny! I'm pretty sure I've had all the same thoughts before ~ LOL! I would want to be able to freeze time for everyone else but I would stay in a normal timescape and stay ON TASK and (here's the delicious part!) actually get ahead of the curve! Well, it's fun to dream! A great wkend to all!

Anonymous said...

HAHA!! I like your sounds you would make! LOL!!

I want to be able to read minds, Like Nobodys business! LOL!!

Anonymous said...

You put alot of thought into that didn't you!?