If I were a Super Hero

So, I've been all stuck in my own little super hero world. I think it started out as the whole "Angel's" thing in another bloggie world. And, I'm always doing this "Wonder-Mom" Power? ACTIVATE!! Yea, I really do this too. I don't have a wonder twin so I have to do it by myself. Anyhow, in the back of my mind [and, in my general daily dialogue I have with myself in my head] I began concocting myself as a Super Hero. IF I were a Super Hero: I'd have the power of mind control. Not other's minds...but, my mind could control things. See? All my life I've had this dream pop in from time to time. I'm able move things with my mind. Like flip a light switch, move a pencil across a table...and, even at times levitate myself. I usually wake up with a headache...but, it's a really cool power in my dream. I'd be able to move around at warp speed (like the episode on Star Trek where Captain Kirk keeps hearing a buzzing? But, it is really another life form moving at such a incredible speed no one can actually see them. Of course, until they capture him and bring them into their "universe.") I would have a laptop that unfolded from my abdomen so that I'd have immediate access to the knowledge of the world. WAIT, nix that. That's just stupid. ACTUALLY..... My brain would house a computer and I could send messages (via my mind control) to the internet. There would be no reason to even have to type on a key board. I could think it all into existence. What a way to be in control of things. (Oh, and there would be a wireless internet access card in my brain, of course. And, it would be able to directly communicate with the satellites and servers, thus elimating monthly access fees). I'd be "stretchy" like Elasti-Girl. I'd also to have a lasso and an invisible jet. [The lasso would be fantastic for capturing and controling small children. The jet would just be really cool to have. All my friends would be like, "Hey! Really Cool jet! Can I have a ride?" And, I'd be all like, "Sure!"] My figured would be curvy in all the right ways (bein' stretchy and all, this would be easy). I'd have that long(er), flowing and full, "always perfect" super female hero hair. I'd be tooootally HOT!!!! I would have the ability to shoot bleach from the tip of my index finger. And, I could control the percentage of dilution and also the PSI and size of the spray. There would be no "germies" or mold or stains in my Super Hero world. My world would always be all "white and shiny." My other fingers would also be able to emit any chemical or cleaner I required. ie: Glass Cleaner, stainless steel polish, pledge, room "deotorizor" and so forth. I would be able to fly. But, I wouldn't have a cape. I'd have a super hero suit more like cat woman. Only hot pink and no ears. [The ears would just mess up my Super Hero hair.] I'd have the ability to morph. Not sure what I'd do with it yet...but, it'd still be pretty cool. I'd have the ability to do that "nose twinkle-twinkle" thingie Samantha did on "BeWitched." [I don't think I'd wanna' do the "I dream of Jeanie" thing...although, I do like to wear my hair I Dream of Jeanie style.] The "nose twinkle-twinkle" thingie would allow me to control behavior. Primarly? My children's. Oh, and I'd be a totally bad @$$ cool dancer! Like on "Cayote Ugly." I guess I'd be more of a cleaning super hero, but I'd still have the ability to fight bad guys. I'd be trained and knowledgeable in all forms of martial arts and other "kick ass" techniques. I'd be all, "Schwaka-Chacka You evil @$$hole!!!" And, the evil @$$hole would run away in fear and crying. [Corny, I know...I just like saying "Schwaka-Chacka! You should try it. It's really fun when I say it while jumping into my best karate stance!] Yea, leaves me feeling really empowered. Anyhow, my Super Hero self is still a work in progress. But, one day I'll have her perfected. Until then I'll just have to make due with the powers I currently have. Happy Friday, you Happy Heros!!

If I were a Super Hero