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Monday, June 23, 2008

CURSE you KRISPE KREME!!! Diet Monday?

Yeah, this post was originally in my mind all about the speed and antphetamines sugar rush Krispe Kreme curses us with. Oh, I know I don't have to eat it, but if I don't once in a lifetime or at least one a year to compete with the other kids parents who seem unconcerned with what crap/toxins they expose their children to indulge my children every once in awhile, they will sneak every morsel of sugar injected corruption into their young, growing bodies boycott me and possible have me impeached. So. No breakfast allowed this mornin' cuz' Farmer Junior (yeah, my newbie nick-name for my son) had to go see Dr. D. for sealants on his fully developed molars. As I am considerate (and my kids love to eat), I scheduled for the earliest appointment available. Kind to my kids, but still -- breakfast is their "coffee." So, I state that we will "go eat somewhere special" after the appointment. After the appointment the children were driving me bonkers, screaming and yelling behind me in the SUV about where we would go discussing their difference of opinions in power meal choices...and then the Lil'Gal remembers that I had promised we would "make doughnuts" one day this week. Now, I have been procrastinating this because it is a simple task to make home-made doughnuts....but, the children now love to participate meaning it takes twice as long and my kitchen ends up dusted with flour and powdered sugar. Then, it hits me, KRISPE KREME!!!! "Hey kids? Y'all wanna' go for a doughnut?" "YEAAAAAHHHHH, YES!! Mama so totally ROCKS!!!! Do the happy dance Mama!" Yes, at this point? I am the best Mama in the whole land/universe/galaxy. So, we pull into Krispe Kreme and ya' can smell the doughnuts upon exiting the vehicle. The children are elated and following their nostrils to this "magical machine." They gander and gawk at the process behind the glass. Apparently, it is much more commercialized intriguing now, than the ol' cast iron skillet fashion we do at home. So, finally, I approach the "doughnut window" with multiple of sugary, gooey, iced, flavored, sprinkled, fantastically, deliciously, entoxicating, edible inner-tubes. I advise the children, they can pick...not one? But, TWO of these delacacies. "Twooooooooo?" They revel in my generousity. [Personally, I know these babies are so rich that with O.J. or Milk, my kids will only partake of one...saving the other]. But, still? I'm a HERO! So, we are now sitting at the warming morning sunlit bar with swivel stools (a big plus for kiddos) and enjoying our doughnuts and breakfast beverage of our choice. As assumed, the kids have their fill of the rich sugary indulgance and agree to save the other for home. And, to our other two errands we go. ---------------------------------------- Somewhere...along the five minute drive to our next stop....the meth/pure unprocessed sugar cane doughnuts kick in. In the rearview mirror I can see my children's eyes changing before me. It becomes very scary....their pupils grow small, tight, dark and a wherewolf and a wild panther. Their laughter is no longer happy and giddy but evil....and they are waiting, clawing at the passenger windows, to be freeeeeeeee. So, the Hobby store? The Post Office (where we saw Hillary Clinton, by the way) have posted my children's pictures upon their walls as "wanted" and "banned." "No Shirt? Fine. No Shoes? Fine. Wherewolf and Wild Panther -- and the Woman who brought them? BANNED!!!" Yes...there were those who could feel my fear and agitation. Those that had apparently, "Krispy Kremed" once before. But, never, ever, EVER again...shall I Krispy Kreme my children again -- without a lock down and detox. On that note. I popped in to "Fairy Flutters" bloggie and she had this cute little "Manic Monday" vloggie video she had come across and shared with us. So, I told her I was "Blog-lifting it" to share over here. If you are curious, I'll pimp out her blog. But, first I wanna' make sure she is okay with that. Happy Monday, Happy Diet if it applies...and, please? Beware of Krispe Kreme! --------------------------------- Editors Note: Fairy Flutters said I could totally "Pimp" her out. So, head on over! (FYI, this isn't her in the vloggie...but, she does vloggies of her own and her Lil'Gal Angels!)


Jay said...

I love Krispy Crack donuts! When the opened the one on the 1604 Loop in San Antonio my brother in law and I went there and stood in line. They kept handing out fresh donuts to everybody in line so I had two already before I even hit the counter. But, we got a dozen anyway so he could take some to my sister. She might have divorced him if we had Krispy Kreme and didn't get her any.

WomensDaily said...

It's so sad. i've never even stepped into a Krispy Kreme and I have easy access to one. Apparently I've been warned not to even try it as I could easily get addicted to it.

Knight said...

When I was in college we lived by a Krispie Creme and a few times we stopped by right at closing so they would give us bags of free stuff. You can't have them sit overnight you know!
Now I can't stand the idea of eating them. All that sugar. Ugh! Makes me sick thinking about it.