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Monday, June 29, 2009

Corpus no cooperate; Ring around the waist line....

Hey Body? Yeah, what's up, Gal? What's up? Um, you mean what's stagnating and growing 'around'? Oooh... Yeah, about that... About that - THIS [grabbing the ring around the waist line] - that you mean??? Yeah, well you know. It comes with the age factor. THE-EEE, AGE. FACTOR...??? Yeah, you know. The, you're a Gal, breaching and reaching towards the 40's and the body gets tired and can't keep up....and all that, and that. WTF!? Seriously? The "AGE" factor? You are pulling that bull crap and manure with ME? After my favorite late night snack is veggies? And, I eat salad with no dressing once or twice daily? I think about my carbs, protein and fiber and vitamin intake and you are going to give me the AGE factor? Well, you know. You've been adding some butter to some stuff.... "Spray butter you Pie-hole.....except for the country crock on my baked potatoes; but I eat the skin too...." And, you've been adding some cheese and you love those avacados these days... That's healthy fat to help my body and brain function, speaking of which -- I've given up artificial sweeteners and diet drinks...just for the sake of my brain and memory and alll -- and for you! Selfish body.... Oh, yeah... Forgot to thank you for that.  Though, that healthy fat?  Yeah, it's still, um, fattening??? That's it? Thank me for the stevia vs artificial sweetener? That's it? No thanks for eating healthy?  And, you judge my taste in fat veg/fruit foods?  You suck you know.... Yeah...well,... missing that treadmill thing you used to do. And, the abdomen muscles have been asking for some action... That might be where you wanna' go about the whole 'ring around the waist-line" thing... Hey?  Body?
You're a PIE-HOLE!  I mean, you are right and all... But, still... You suck PIE.
I know.  But, who better to tell you?
Pie-Hole...    "I know."



Anonymous said...

Are you saying that eating pie is the problem? ;)

This was a hilarious post, FW. I think I'll be smiling all morning!

Lis Garrett said...

Great post! Love it!

Dez said...

Mmmm..... Lemon Merange pie sounds great!

Queens Mamas said...

Oh It can't be that bad... 40 is the new 30 so you have something to look forward to : )

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

good news: black coffee has no calories and it makes you happy!
I told you I could get in here maybe when the net was quiet---bizzare!