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Friday, March 5, 2010

Say what you REALLY mean...

Why can't we say what we really mean.  Sometimes as people, humans, we have feelings about a certain situation, idea, opinion, person.  But, we aren't allowed to say it or share for fear of being judged.

Maybe we are afraid we'll be judged if we don't like a person that we should like, or that we will be judged if we like a person others feel we shouldn't.

Then again, maybe those judgements are what keep us all in check.  In line and moral.  If there were no judgement passed, might we not be a crueler society?  Always saying what we feel, speaking out emotionally or in the heat of the moment.  Only, with no judgement over our actions and our words, would we not feel remorse for having offended or hurt someone?

I am the kind of person who has to step back and think.  Otherwise, I'm fight or flight, and typically I'll fight without having evaluated what it is I'm fighting for.  But, I'll go down fighting before I let some one get the best of me.  And, some things are worth the fight.  Other times, it is better to walk away and take the high road.  I know one tends to come out less bruised that way.

It's hard to walk away sometimes, though.  And, that high road can be pretty steep.  Halfway up those mental calves start to burning and we know it would be so much easier to just trot our way back down to the pit.

I dislike myself when I judge someone or say mean things.  But, at the same time I am conflicted.  Because, I don't feel I should let someone walk all over me just for the sake of my being the better person.  And, I don't think it is fair to tolerate something that I find offensive.  After all, is it not wrong to ignore my feelings?

Yet, we can't always speak the fruition of what we feel or how we are affected because it can very well offend the person from which the emotions were charged.   And, then it becomes a conflict, a confrontation, all because one felt the right be to completely open and honest about his feelings.

Sometimes we end up thinking?  Am I in the right?  Or, am I somehow diluded and in the wrong.  Am I the offendee?  Or, have I somehow ended up being the offender?  Can't we just call it even?  Quite possibly, it is a mutual fopaux.

Anonymity.  Sometimes we need it.  A venue, lacking judgement, just to be heard for what we need to get off our chest.  Regardless if it is hurt, anger, or just a typical P!$$ & Moan.  You can't fully express yourself when the eyes and ears of everyone around you are watching and listening.  A place where we can say what we really we really feel and why....without condemnation.

Sometimes, we need anonymity so we can relax and just be.  And, say what we really mean.



Sonya said...

I can't say what I need to say in my blog b/c the employer reads it and judges my work performance by my blog entries. So I had to create a private blog and I'm still afraid to blog in it for fear they have obtained my password since I've checked my blogs on their PC at lunch. lol

Anonymous said...

I know I'm a few days late here, but this has been a BIG topic today on The Women's Colony.