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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Bullies: "Only Better Than Yourself"

As some of you know, our school lost one of our brighter/est students due to a bully. The child seems sweet on the outside, though I think he needs medication to control his 'activity level'. I'm not fond of medicating children but I do have several friends whom's children really do need something to balance the chemical activity within their brains.

I understand just as well from my own personal experiences. That's way down in a previous post and I'm just too lazy to go look up the link for y'all. ;-) Sorry.

Anyhow, I've warned my children without overly instilling attitudes in them (I don't want to come out the trouble maker by marking a fellow student - though, my children are already aware of the who and the why). I just have told them to keep watch. Be aware. And, to always fill the teacher in of incidence regardless if she claims they are tattling. I gave them permission to 'tattle' so that if I had to approach the teacher, she would have been made aware of the incidences prior to a conference. [You know if they aren't aware it is hard for them to participate in handling the issue.]

So, today or over the past few days apparently, said 'boy' has been making comments about how "He is better than" said bright, wonderfully kind boy, that we lost on his account. My son brings this to my attention, along with the fact that the boy was smacking at him 'kinda' in the head. [Did you tell the teacher? Son: I forgot when she got back. Um, she leaves the classroom for an extended period??? Hmmm, I'll have to discuss and mentalize on that one.]

I said to my son, "You tell him, 'You can only be better than yourself'." Both children look at me with wondering eyes. I explained, "Are you (named child who left)?" Are you, "Named other?" "Is Mama, Daddy?" They answered in unison to all questions as a "No."

"So, how can someone be better than someone else, if they aren't THAT PERSON." They pondered this and quite shortly, agreed and understood. I added, "So, if I were to say that "I" was better than DADDY would that be true?" "No" they both replied. "Why not" I asked.

"Because you aren't Daddy." That's right.

So, I left the conversation by instructing them that if said Bully says something like that again, to respond to him as such: You can only be better than yourself."

As we had this conversation, I took it to heart to be sure I keep this in mind myself. I'm not one to judge others typically -- or at least I try not to -- but, this reasoning holds true. I am not someone else I am me. So, I shouldn't worry about others. But instead, work on being better than myself. ;-)



Anonymous said...

I like this reasoning. After all, don't we often try to better ourselves?

Prohomemaker.Com said...

Oh you taught me a lesson, too! Love that!

Dez said...

Well, whaddaya know? I get that! Thanks for the lesson Ma...

Anonymous said...

That is some dang good advice, FW. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!