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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Butter has a belly button? Etiquette...

Yes, butter has a belly button. You know, that pretty, little peak left in the middle of a new tub of margarine -- placed there by the machine that filled it at the factory, like edible art in a lovely, smooth, fashionable peak....
Kinda like this one,
Okay, so this one isn't as pretty and peakie as the margarine I buy. Country Crock, light -- though, there's another made with margarine and yogurt; I buy that one at times because it has a cow on it. I like cows. It's good too, though.
So, I can't stand it when someone messes up the margarine tub. It's so smooth and appetizing when first opened. And, I try to keep it that way.
See this?
What IS that? Nasty. That's what that is.... You don't just stab the tub with your butter knife and take a glop out... Nooo. You skim it across the top in circular fashion. The margarine will spread much easier and evenly on your toast or potato this way too.
Now then. Doesn't this one look much more appealing?
I can't stand it when I open up the tub of margarine only to find someone has massacred it! I flip. Totally. Sometimes Hubby thinks it's funny to gouge the margarine... you know, because it drives me nutty.
And, Hubby think it's cute to make me nutty. [It's. NOT.]
Oh, and worse? Peanut butter.
Above: Peanut butter NASTY. Does that call out to you "Please make me into a PB&Jam sandwich?"
No... it looks disgusting. Blech.... The mountains and abysses look like they are hosting germs and fermentation.... Ewwww. Now then....isn't that much better? It's calling you, "Look at me, so soft and creamy? "You know you want to frost a soft slice of bread with me and enjoy -- open faced..."
And, the worst. Crumbs and cross-contamination. If you look closely at one of the pictures above. You will see a tiny, little spot -- a crumb. GRRRRR.
Crumbs in the margarine or on the butter stick is poo. It's no bueno. And, what about when there is jelly mixed in? Seriously? A person can't clean their knife on their napkin first?
Cross contamination, peoples. I wouldn't want anyone getting peanutbutter-jam and butter-coli....
AND, let's admit it. There's nothing worse than opening the jam jar to be greeted by butter and jam doing the 'n@sty'.
Or jam and peanut butter mixin' it in the same jar. I sware. Jam and jelly get around a little.
Just sayin'....
Anyhow, it is a serious concept with me. And, as I was skimming the margarine back into neat and normal-ness this morning -- it struck me that others might appreciate my butter and (peanut)butter etiquette.
So. In true me fashion. I shared. :-)
Happy Thursday almost FWFD of the WEEEEEEEK!!!!



Prohomemaker.Com said...

LOL OK you topped me :-)

I am a labels all facing the front in the fridge kinda OCD guy.


Krishna said...

That's too funny. to gross you out more, if my peanut butter or ice cream for that matter is smooth and neat, i can tell Richard has been eating out of the container. Now that grosses me out

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

Listen FW, this is a GUY thing. You want to stab into the butter or PB to MAKE YOUR MARK. Like dogs on a tree.....

Dez said...

HAHAHAHAHA.... Even tho I know you very well, You never cease to amaze me! Uh, you forgot to put that little peak back on the smoothed out butter. :0 - and, remember when they came out with a jar with jelly & peanut butter in a swirl?! I loved that one! The kids did too! :)

Lis Garrett said...

LOL! If I had questions about whether or not you are neurotic, you just answered them with this post.

But, uh . . . . (I totally hear ya, so maybe that means I'm neurotic, too).

Drinking out of the container - that is NO BUENO in my household, and yet that's what my husband will do to tick me off. If he wants and entire jug of juice for himself, he'll put his mouth to the container when he knows I'm looking. Blech. Even though I kiss that guy. Doesn't make sense. ;-)

kcinnova said...

Well, I've gotta say that I agree with the PB mess factor. But that is NOT butter. No, it's margarine, which might be poison. Just sayin'. (Not to say that my kids don't mangle the butter on the butter dish...)

Debbie @ Three Weddings said...

I am completely with you on this one! In fact, my family is so aware of it that one time the teen took a picture of the peanut butter before she used it just so I would see the new jar before it was messed up. Of course, I think she kind of missed the point since it's more the jabbing and massacring that I really hate.