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Thursday, February 4, 2010

Collection Callers, FW Tantrum and Oh My....

FW has a couple of peaves to discuss B!tch tonight.  I know, right?  FW complaining?  That happens like, how-ever, often?  Closer to not?  [Well, except for my "Dislike" post a couple posts down.  Hey, I'm an optimist but even fairies get disgruntled so people can too.]

TANTRUMS: in short...

Apparently, with the newest couple of generations birthed to continue the human race, the word "NO" means, "Maybe?  I can ask again?  What if I ask someone else?  What if I ask again in twenty five seconds?  What if I do it ANYWAY?  What if I throw myself on the floor?" (Hubby only did that once, Ha Ha, No wait.  That was me. My bad.)

"No" also means bargain, reason with, and present your case (not accepting the other sides case).  It is a "ME" only world.  Criminy.  Me and some FB Mom's already had this discussion today about how children now days push buttons and bring out the "EUY" Mom in us.

[Wanna' know what that stands for?  Well, I'll save that for another detailed post!  One when I have transformed into EUY MOM and back again... >8~{} That's an  EUY Mom face, BTW)

So, Wrong Number Collection Call.  Yeah.

For months now, the phone rings a million five to ten times from an agency that is trying to bill collect for some person who does not live here, has never lived here and has never had my phone number (Hubby has had this phone number for about 16 years, right before we started dating).

THE MESSAGE (because, obviously I don't answer the fricken electronic robotic caller)
"If this is XYZ  person Press, 1.  If this is NOT XYZ person press 2."  Like WHO is going to answer, and then wait and press 2, only to say...."Um, yeah, I'm not XYZ I'm WXY apostrophe Z." [DUHR]

Really?  They think someone would take the time to care?

WELL, NOW.  Then enters a p!!!!!!!!!$$$$$ed off FW.  I've finally had enough of running for the phone only to find out it is another collection call for someone named XYZ.  SOB's!

So, I pick up the phone and hit redial.  (Well, technically, we still have a phone issue where we CAN'T call long distance from the home phone so I call from my cell ready to bash them if they collect that number from caller ID).

ME:  800-beep-beep-beep.....beep-beep-beep-beeeep..... [press TALK button]
THEM:  "You have reached ABD!CK company.  Please listen to this formal BS recording and then your call may be recorded for....yada-legal crap." I know legal...I daaaare you.  Record my call, [Insert Evil Laugh!]

Then a foreign lady answers the call all nice and polite. Well, he!!$ bells.  I was ready to kick some PIE.

THEM/HER: "Yes, can you state who you are and your reason for calling (and your acct #, yada)?

ME:  "NO.  [angry tone] Ya'll have been calling my home phone for months, a million times a day, taking up all my messaging time and I don't know XYZ!"

THEM:  ??  [Tracing phone number through computer system in hopes of finding their collectee....?]

ME:  "I'm calling from my cell because [insert I lose credit to long explanation]....." (please don't add it to your friggin' harassment list)

THEM:  "[pause] [accent] Oh, what is de number?" Again, she's being polite.  CR@P, no gripefest for FW. :-(  I wan'ed to griiiipe.

I know, I'm all sweet and happy and kind.  But, a Gal can only take so much and then "POOF!"  Mean FW....

ME: "!@#$%^&&** is my home number. Grrrr."

THEM/HER:  "And, you are sure?  XYZ does not live with you?"

ME:  [WTF'ing He!!]  "Yes [stop] I am sure [stop] XYZ does not live here [stop] We built this house TWO years ago [stop] AND (pause) [stop] WE. ARE. The only ones who have ever lived here. [Grrrr but polite, stop]

THEM/HER:  [with accent, hey my writing assignment say to 'show' not 'tell']  "We have removed your number from our list..."

ME:  "Thank you and have a nice evening."  [Hang-up]  (To myself) "I dare you to call back tomorrow...."  >:~E)  he. he. he.

Happily, I head back to the living room and yet.  My vindications feels a little incomplete...

:-( FW wanted to kick some P!e...  Poor FW.  Thank the Lord for Nice People.  But, Poor FW... (:~{


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4 comments:

Stuff could always be worse said...

You did a really good job of typing out this conversation and all the symbols. You will be fine.
kim

Prohomemaker.Com said...

You would have loved spending two hours with me at the DMV this afternoon. ... Funny enough I loved just sitting there and not doing anything but waiting for them to call G219. Got my new license now. Now to get a new wallet and the whole thing is behind me.

Melissa said...

Those darn collections calls! I've received two for an ex-brother-in-law I barely even knew. I have NO idea how they got my number, but it was infuriating trying to get it straightened out. I can't imagine it being an ongoing problem.

At least it's FRIDAY!

kcinnova said...

I have felt your pain before.

Recently a collection agency tried to claim it was the bank. It was a call to try to find a neighbor who was behind on payments. Um, so CALL THEM, NOT ME!!
I didn't need to know they are on the edge of foreclosure.

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