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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

CALGON?! Take me Away!

Calgon? Take me away! Or, realistically? Shiner Bock. OR, even better? Some Savignon Blanc and a hot bubble soak in the Queen of Sheeba tub with my show on the teli. [And, DH home to corral the kids -- a dream, as it is harvest time.] Yes, summer is grand. And, the kids and I have really enjoyed it during it's busy days and days of calm. But, it's been about a month and a half now? And, the kids are getting anxious and agressive with each other. When they yell? Whine? Fight? Scream? Gripe? Moan? Groan? I regress to Rosie on the Jetsons with my "BEEP-BEEP" and I quickly short out -- "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! "Mama? Why are you making that sound?!?" ME: "Because y'all have pushed me to my meltdown limit! Remember what that is?" "Oh, yea..." So, Lil Gal bitches whines and screams and yells and drives me almost to meltdown point -- over brushing her hair. It was a task that took about ten minutes as she has very long, blonde, princess hair that is also in dire need of a two inch trim of the dry ends. Farmer Junior is P-Oed because Daddy left without him this morning and Farmer Junior doesn't want to go run errands with us. But, Daddy isn't going to make it back to the barn in time before I have to leave for a notary job, meeting, and other "In City" errands. So, it is about 9:45 when we are loading up to exit the house and embark on our day and myself and two children are already at our witts end. I wonder how this will all go, today? Let's check the list, shall we:
  • Drop off stuff as SIL's house and MIL's houses
  • Notary Job
  • Bank Deposit
  • Hobby Store (Big 50% off sale)
  • Meeting (at an asian restaurant, instead of the mexican restaurant -- not good with kids)
  • Grocery Store
  • Bread Store (name brand bread at half off)
  • Post Office
We make it through the first three. The Hobby Store was a chore. Apparently, six years olds develop a hearing problem? I spent $42.00 but everything I bought was 50% off! So, I got $84 dollars worth of stuff!!! The Meeting I already knew would be a PITA (Pain In The A$$) as it wasn't at the Mexican Restaurant where the kids can get bean and egg tacos for lunch. It was at an Asian Chinese Food Buffett. I took PB&J sandwhiches, fruit bars and juice packs for the kids. Yes, the little asian waitress looked at me as if I was breaking the rules. "They are kids? And, most kids don't eat chinese food at five and six years old." She gave me that odd, unappreciative smile. I myself had Ice Tea. [On a budget so I skip the meals at the mtg to save on the dues required to volunteer in this community service organization.] Farmer Junior proceeds to eat Lil Gal's fruit bar thinking she didn't want it as she didn't inhale her PB&J quite as quickly as he. So, now? She's all upset. Thank goodness my club members have know her since she was weeks old and since he was a lil'bitty himself. Three or four arguments and fights, me pointing fingers, raising my voice, manhandling kids and two trips to the bathroom? It was time to leave (Thank Goodness). Next Stop? The grocery store. Ummmm. I only need just a few things and I didn't have coupons for these and I knew exactly where everything was so I should be able to be in, paid out, and in my vehicle in 10 minutes or less -- plus two small children -- add another 30 minutes. Farmer Junior finds it fun to beat and pulvarize tenderize all the meats in their packages while I look for the best prices per weight of items that I can make some deliciously cheap meals out of. People are looking at me/us -- the one's who understand and those who have no clue. The behaviours today are behaviours that my children know are not acceptable. Where is this coming from? I was gonna' just blow off the bread store at this point and hit the post office in small town when we return library books tomorrow. But, I knew I'd kick myself for missing out on the name brand whole grain soft bread when I realize we are out of bread tomorrow. AND, I wouldn't be back in town this way for another week -- which would force me to buy the store brand whole wheat which "isn't as soft and fresh as the name brand." [That's not me, that's the other three in the family.] A plus, though? I let the kids pick out a sugar free pack of gum (you know, for all their good behaviour in the grocery store [SNORT!]) and the cashier commented on how lucky they were to have "ORBIT" gum, and how he really likes "ORBIT" gum. So, at first they're a little selfish until I remind the children that, "Um, wouldn't it be nice to share? Seein' as y'all have a whole package of gum?" A moment of thought. Lil'Gal offers the cashier a peice of her gum. Farmer Junior does the same, as to not be out done by Lil'Gal. The BONUS? The cashier states, "Since y'all were so generous? Mama gets a loaf of bread for FREE!!!!!

Not only did I get one loaf of bread at half off? But, I got a free loaf too!! That's a $3.70 savings!!! This is "Nature's Own" bread that runs $2.4+ at the grocery store! I got two loaves for $1.09! That gave me the strength to endure the Post Office with two little kids. (It also paid for the gum!) The line was horendous! But, I have a credit card and they had the "self help" postal scale. Whoop! Package sent!

We make the trip home and the kids are all worried, concerned, and nagging about "snack time." So, home, the vehicle unloaded, kids eating "ice cream" [I was weakend]...I head outside to the back porch with the mail, a scrapbook catalog...and, um...a beverage. No Calgon. But, alas...so goes some of the days in the best life I am lucky to live with my fantastically though, sometimes bitchy family! I am so blessed! I have a home. I have a great DH. I have two beautiful children. I have a vehicle that runs well (though aging and quite messy, YUCK!), I have fuel in said vehicle and I have money to haggle with the sales. I have cable! I have a full freezer and stocked pantry! I have indoor plumbing! I have a Queen of Sheba Tub! So, my Glass was drained for awhile but at this moment is about to be refilled over half full. Happy Daily Life and Happy Wednesday! [Calgon or not] :-D
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9 comments:

Jay said...

I'm so not having kids. Ever. ;-)

Knight said...

I'm with Jay.

Knight said...

Although I'm sure you have great kids. I would lose my flippin' mind when they got moody.

gary rith said...

dang, maybe fill up the tub with this Shiner Bock? (and where the heck is that stuff and how can I get some up here????????)

Ne said...

HAHAHA!!! I need some freakin calgone also!!

I will have kids when I am 40!!

You are filled with Blessings!

Ne.

tt said...

why is it I read this really fast? Do you talk fast and I channeled that?? or was I just needing to get to the end of your day? teehee....
I remember those days....when they're grown and gone...the memories will be much more pleasant and even funny...seriously....it's kinda like childbirth..you forget the bad parts. lol
Cheers kiddo!

Farmer*swife said...

gr No Shiner Bock? No Shiner anything? But, don't you live in [outside of] NEW YORK CITY!!

I would think one could get anything in the Big City! Not fair.

tt YES! I do speak very quickly and rapidly and I type like I speak except that I can't quite type as fast as I speak but pretty close! LOL!

DH gets frusterated when we are out w/friends and he can't ease drop on the conversation cuz' I leterate it too quickly for him, LOL!

He's a farmer. I explain to him that I get just as frusterated waiting for him to get to his point!

Oh, gosh. I need to bloggie about this.

kcinnova said...

I have often needed a beverage after shopping. With or without kids!!! Sadly, I often have stuff to do later in the day and have to pass on this "reward."

kcinnova said...

wait, did Gary say he'd never had a Shiner Bock? Oh, the poor man...

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