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Friday, July 18, 2008

Holy Fast Talking!!!

Okay, so in reply to tt (don't fret me on not providing the link because I am too lazy at this point and dinner is supposed to be put in a hot oven in about 15 minutes -- I already made the casserole so I've got 15 bloggie minutes to get this all down.). Did you read that as quickly as I typed it? Cuz, if you did? Then, you KNOW ME. LOL! tt left her comment on my last bloggie and mentioned that she thought she might have read it as quickly as I speak, unless as possibly as quickly as my day went by. So, to comment back in full disclosure I realized I'd have to bloggie about it. So, let me bring you into my world. I am a fast talker. Not, like "Hey, let me talk you into my smooth deal and screw you out of something pertinent to you..." But, more like, rapid. Like rapid, machine gun fire as my "sweet" DH would say. I took a speach class (as required in college) and the only thing the teacher had to critique was that I spoke too quickly. "HUH?" So, I watched the video tape he'd made (he video'd us all, like any good speach teacher, so that we can analyze ourselves for ourself.) Okay? So, yes, I speak quickly. But, what people aren't aware of is that the human brain is capable of thinking three times as fast as the mouth can find time to utter the words. So, the next speech I gave? I almost suffocated! No seriously!! Because apparently when you are a rapid speaker you breathe on the in and outs of the sentences. I was basically holding my freakin' breath! And, it was really hard to retain my thought because I was so busy trying to slow my mouth down that my brain had already skipped about three to five sentences ahead! Seriously? I think people think that rapid talkers are air heads or full of themselves or too wordy to take time to listen. I am not a talk your head off person. But, when you read my blogs? Some of them are long. But, as to quote the second born sibling, my Big [Handsome :-)] Lil' Brother? He reads it like I'm saying it and he totally gets it. And, a three hundred word/thousand word/full page blog? Yea, takes about 30 seconds to read it all. Anyhoo... I married a farmer. This is the guy that my dance partner (also a farmer but a quick talker and quick shuffler on the floor like myself introduced me to) left me standing next to because I didn't want "those men" thinking I was "all available and bar queen." Though, I did frequent the bars, but primarily for C&W dancing. [Don't knock it till you've tried it. Good exercise, fun, and FUN! Better than just sitting at the bar downing beers and packing on the pounds....and peanuts. anyhow, I digress.] I will admit I was pretty good at downing the beers (hey, all that dancing leaves a Gal thirsty!) My dance partner had left me there with a short introduction to go fight with his "girlfriend" (not about me, everyone knew we were there strickly for dancin!). So, I first ask future DH, "Am I cramping your style?" I mean, I didn't know if he was there to pick up chicks or something. Future DH, "NO..." (He smiles a cutie southern smile...) He's all tall and wearing starched Wranglers and a grey felt Stetson....YUMMY! So, then a good quick two step, "or Shuffle as some call it," or, "Double Time," comes on and I ASK HIM "You wanna' dance?" Future DH: "No....[pause] maybe to a 'slower one.'" [GASP, ME? Slow? DOUBLE-GASP!] So, years later? Yea, we're all married with kids and all that. But still? the rapid talking is an issue between us. DH: "You talk too fast, like "beedip-beedip-beedipp!!!" or however, he mimics me. "Down shift Girl!" Yeah, that's what he tells me. And, "You talk so fast people can't keep up with you and they all tell me about it." ME: "Um, do you realize how hard it is to speak SL-O-W-LY SO Y-O-U CAN K-EE-P UP? Gosh! I can't even breathe! And, then? My mouth forgets what it's saying cuz' my mind is like three or four thoughts ahead and then I sound like a babbling idiot!" Then, I always retort with, "SHEEEEZE! Why can't YOU just learn to think faster!!! I mean, seriously, Honey? It is VERY FRUST-ER-ATING!!" Yeah, that always gets him....LOL! NOT. His biggest issue, is when we are all out and the guys are talking and the gals are talking and DH likes to keep up in the know about what ALL'S GOING ON and so...he eaves drops....yeah, really. And, he TOTALLY busts himself cuz' he will actually tell me, "Honey, Down Shift...slow down they can't understand what you're saying..." ME: "Um, that's just YOU cuz' you are trying to keep up with two conversations at once!?" BUSTED! Ha Ha!! So is married life. I ask my friends and they WILL TELL me when I get all riled (is it wriled, or riled) up and ask me to repeat myself or slow down. Just y'all bloggies know this one, true fact (you can google it). When you meet someone who is a rapid speaker? Please empathize with them (us). [Okay, not the air head ones, cuz' yes, there are a few -- BUT NOT ME.] Because if our rapid speach is so much that it makes your head spin? Then think about how our minds and brains are spinning every moment of everyday and even in our sleep. No wonder I'm such and insomniac. Happy Friday and Speedy Communications!!! [Whew! 10 minutes (post editing) to spare! (smiley-wink)]


Anonymous said...

HAHAHA!!! I talk fast also, but at same time I have some words with that Kentucky drawllllllll.. But when I get over that I am right back at speaking fast again! lol

I am like you because I need to say it fast before I forget,I forget a lot! lol

have a great Day

Krishna said...

LMAO---this is so true bloggie readers. She really talks fast but since I think fast, I never noticed it. LOL.

Richard just read your blog and said "she must be talking about Rodney." I so remember those days, hot guys, starched wranglers, boots, hats, and dancing so much the booze never had a chance to make us drunk!

captain corky said...

Just out of curiosity was your keyboard smoking after you typed this post? ;)

tt said...

I get it. Seriously. I'm a bit assbackwards myself...sorta. I think really fast but when I speak it comes out garbled and I loose my choochoo. My speach can't keep up with my grape.
But here's the interesting thing, to me anyway.
How did I know you spoke fast just from reading what you wrote??
Isn't that curious? I think it is....but then I have odd thoughts now and then...that's a whole blog post in itself..ha

If I'm needing to pick up my pace, I'll just sashe' on over here and get a wee dose of 'get-up-and-go'
Love it!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You sound like Humorous-Juniorous. I keep telling him, SLOW DOWN! But it's only because I can't understand him when he's firing off a-mile-a-minute. I KNOW he's thinking that fast!

Knight said...

I have a lot of fast talking friends and I can usually keep up until they get excited about something then I have to stop them because they skip full sentences and don't realize the story doesn't make sense. I find myself saying, Hold on, I can't follow this story, you never said WHO you are talking about! Then we have to back track and fill in the holes that they don't know they left out. It's pretty funny really.