Children for Rent (Spring Break)

So, the kids are on spring break. Well, it officially begins on Monday but seein' as how I was signed up to work the Easter party at school it officially began for me at 1:15 yesterday afternoon.

So, officially, the kids have been on spring break for a total of 28 plus hours. I am going "NUTSO" already. This weekend should not be different from any other weekend, but it is. They've got SPRING fever. The weather has been hot and summery like...there's lots of candy to be had (thanks to the damn Easter party and all).....thus making small children wild.

They play together really well when they aren't fighting and beating the tar out of each other. We made cupcakes together this afternoon. (I know, what am I thinking? More sugar?) But, these are for friends and company we are expecting over tomorrow afternoon. After we made cupcakes? I found myself chasing them through the house with a wooden spoon....

I forced them outside and locked the deadbolts. I needed five minutes of peace, quiet and stillness. They hollered that they were melting...so, I threw out a couple of popsicles and locked the door again quickly. That lasted for about three and a half minutes. Long enough for me to escape in here....Then? somehow? They found their way back in. I think I forgot to close the garage door.

We have a full week scheduled. Well, "I" have a full week scheduled, with two wild children in tow everywhere I go. Gosh, I sure love'em. But, beer makes me love'em more. Hmmmm, wonder what valium would do (for ME, not the children). Tuesday I'm keeping two of Mrs. T's three -- (she's probably cursing me as she reads this as I get a break from mine for 7 hours five days a week). I know, shame on me....at least "I" get a break. Break's are addicting though. It's hard to recondition myself.

Anyhow, I'm keeping two of her three and I think it will actually improve things around here. I think it might be a "retreat" in a way. The four of them can [and I hope will] drive themselves crazy, leaving me on my own. And, then be exhausted by the time she picks two of them up. And, seein' as I love her kids like my own? I don't really even care which two she takes -- as long as it's two. (Am I bad?)

So, I'm wondering if I can make this week profitable by renting them out. My son's a great cleaner. He cleaned the table, the chairs and the window sills (there are 19). And, he only went through one bottle of 409 and one can of Endust. My daughter is a great entertainer. She likes to sing. She can make great messes and throw a fantastic temper tantrum too! You could use her to get rid of people you don't want hanging around.

So, think about it. The fee is fairly negotiable. This offer is only available for the next nine days though. Better jump at it while you can! [Ugh, someone is crying....where's my wooden spoon?]

Happy Spring Break!

[Editor's note: The children in the picture above were in no way drugged or otherwise mis-handled. They are "still" due to the drop in blood sugar as the candy is wearing off and "Tom & Jerry" is on the Teli. In about 15 minutes their bodies will be "re-charged".]

Children for Rent (Spring Break)