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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Fight!

So, DH and I had a fight last night. Over the stupidest thing. I wanted to watch the "new" episode of my all time favorite show. The kids wanted to watch a little video before bed. My show starts. I ask DH to put the DVD in for the kids. DH flips out because he's tired and he still has to pay bills and he wants to take a break in the computer room. Mind you, we both made our points. He had a point. He works hard and he does need a break. I know he is exhausted. He has to get up and leave the house at 6:30 a.m. while me and the kids get to lay in bed until we feel like getting up since it is Spring Break and all. But, still. I work hard...I just don't get paid in money. Anyhow, now I feel all yucky inside because I hate it when we argue like that. And, I hate it when the arguments go "there" over something stupid. And, I don't back down....I tend to get all flaired up. Defensive. I think I might fight dirty. You know when a little thing grows, and grows and then you bring out your cards and start throwing them on the table? Like, um the "money" card, the "s-e-x" card, the "I maintain the outside/garage/yard" card, "I clean the house and wash your undies" card, the "who do you think keeps this house running" card, and so on. For those of you who aren't married? There is a whole deck made up just for married folks and you can play them for fun or for fight. Anyhow, DH will be POd should he read or know that I blog about this. But, I just wanted to share the fact that marriage is hard sometimes. It's totally worth it though. I used to say we were partners, but after last night? I realized, we are "teammates." And, there is a difference there. I love DH to pieces. Snore Factor and all. He's my other half (not to quote Tom Cruse, but, He completes me.) I just felt all funky today. That's how I get after one of those. Sure, I was all piss and fire last night....and I still think "I'm right" -- though he made good points? There was no reason to have that fight. I just wanted a favor. It got all blown out of proportion. One of those misunderstanding things. See? I wanted to watch my show like I mentioned above. But, was gonna' watch it in the bathroom. The DVD player, etc., is all wired into DH's closet in the bathroom so we don't have tons of cords, boxes and crap in the bedroom. So, when I said "I'm gonna' watch my show in the bathroom while I bathe [in the Queen of Sheba tub]....can you start the video for the kids?" HE thought, why the hell can't you start it since you are going in there anyhow. But, he didn't say that. He said, something like, "Hell NO, I'm tired and exhausted and gotta pay bills on the computer and wanna' go in there and watch something." So, I'm feeling all disrespected. You can't even start a flippin' DVD? It takes like 45 seconds to 1 1/2 minutes (depending on the commercials and skipping through it all). See, my show was starting at this very moment that I asked this. And, the kids were all good, clean, brushed teeth, books read and lying on their pallets all excited to watch some video before bed time. I was still cleaning the kitchen and watching the beginning of the show (so, I thought I would). When a "commercial" came on, I was going to make the mad dash to the bathroom, turn the water on full blast, throw in some bath salts and bubbles and grab my gear (ie: face scrub, razor, wash cloth, TV remote) and be "in the tub" when the show started back. I guess, he's never fully seen how I manage this gymnastical feat. Anyhow, if you are lucky enough to have a significant other....please, sometimes, just do the favor. No explanation or interpretation required. Why would I have asked if I didn't have good reason. I'm not a lazy least not THAT lazy. If you don't have a significant other at this point in time then take this as a lesson to keep in the back of your head. Oh, we made up, of course. I sent him a text today letting him know I love him and appreciate him and that I felt all crappy. He called me and shared the same. He even called me later and could sense something, "What's wrong? You still sound down." I said, "That's how I am after one of those. " So, then tonight? While I'm preparing a late dinner for the kids because I've been in a funk and just hung out with them watching a new video (my favorite from childhood -- "The LAST Unicorn!!!" Too good.) Anyhow, I put on the cable and came across an "Everybody Loves Raymond" re-run. LOL Funny! And, I thought, this is great! So true...this is marriage. And, I'm happy to be married with my happy little family. Fights, and all. Happy Tuesday!


Anonymous said...

I have to laugh. Hubby and I aren't "speaking" right now because I was mad at him and I said something, although honest, he says I was ignorant. And that was kind of like the icing on the cake for the day. SO I think I'll spit in his lunch in the morning and get over it by the time he gets back.


Not really. But that is how I feel.

Farmer*swife said...

Oh, butterfly girl so totally get the wife [and at home] thing.

I'm always so fearful to stay angry and not call and say ILY or text a note...cuz' sometimes I want him to realize "I'm seriously upset" but...I worry that I could screw myself by taking him for granted...

and then, something bad would happen...and, I'd be left with the last argument we had knowing I didn't mean it and I love him so dearly.

Thanks for gettin' me!

Knight said...

Ah, you're scaring me. I'm never getting married. At least the two of you are able to talk things out and express yourselves. If you couldn't understand where the other was coming from it could be so much worse.

Anonymous said...

I 2nd that knight, I shall remain single....I know my temper and I would go off! Would regret everything i said then look like a fool! You r a great mother and wife farmerswife, I can just tell!