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Thursday, August 21, 2008

It's 2:30 in the morning; Are your lights on?

What is Farmer*s wife doing up at 2:30 in the morning you ask?  Good question.  I fell asleep hard last night (typically do when I take a little OTC sleep aid to help me with the falling asleep part).  They are fab and I typically have apnesia of that last 30 minutes of the night.
I remember falling asleep last night but couldn't remember where I'd been in cyberspace.  Turns out, knight's place was the last place I lurked under the influence (at least, I hope).
Anyhow, I am suddenly awakened this morning by Farmer, Jr. who states that he had a bad dream.  Those puppies aren't acceptable in my house.  Realizing that I was actually semi-concious after all?  (The pee factor, typically around three in the morning.)  I offer my spot in Mama and Daddy's bed as I will trade places with one pit stop along the way.
Well, this is enought to wake DH and he too, decides, he needs some middle of the night relief.  So he beats me there while I am frantically searching for my glasses (like Velma, on Scooby Doo, I pat at the floor next to the bed where they must have fallen).
Meanwhile, DH heads to the potty...and then it happened.  One of the biggest sins, the biggest crimes against sleep for me.  He flipped on the d@mn 150 watt light in the restroom!  Typically, he closes the door first and I can just roll over in bed to avoid the stream of light that shines from under the door.
But, NO.  He turns on the big light.  Craptastic!  So, at this point Farmer, Jr. has to pee too. And, I sware they both pee like Niagra Fricken Falls!  [Maybe they should call it Viagra Fricken Falls.]  Anyhoodle, I digress.  So, DH returns to the bedroom and then, "to be helpful," flips on the rope lights in our room so I can find my glasses.  Did I find them?  Yes.  Am I now completely ruined for the next hour, or two, or three?  Yes.
Geeze!  And, DH knows that no one is allowed to move, wiggle, snore, snuggle, or in any way bother me when I'm sleeping.  Let alone?  Turn on the bleepin' blinding light.  Even the mice aren't allowed to pass wind when I'm sleeping!
Hey?  Can you hold on a sec?  I think since I'm up and hanging out with y'all and Mackie, I mine as well grab a beer.  I think a Shiner Black Lauger might do me good to mellow my mind.  [Who was it that was asking what Shiner was, oh, tt, I think.  It's beer.  Good ol' German beer ferminted and bottled right here in the Big Ol'State of Texas -- small town of Shiner.]
BRB.......[slirp....chchchchchch] Yummy!  [Okay, so that was a can sound affect.  How would you mimic popping a bottle open?]
I feel like I'm having a slumber party!  Y'all wanna' sneak some beer with me and then have a massive pillow fight?
I feel like a teenager who is hiding in my room, sneaking online for hours at a time and hoping Dad doesn't walk in and bust me drinking his beer!  LOL! 
Well, I think I'm going to pop into jay's place.  Been told he's usually up and online blogging at 3:a.m.  Then, I might make some more rounds waiting for the "light factor" to erase itself from my woken mind and the beer to kick in.  (Everyone knows one beer is worthless by itself.  It takes two to tango, as they say.  So, if you wanna' visit some more -- I'll be up for the second round.)
Oh, and if I can't get sleepy again?  I'll pop back over here to entertain you with my late night saga some more.  Everyone knows I can ramble-bamble, talkie-lottie about anything.  I'm like the Energizer Bunny.  Only I don't talk-aholic, I just speed talk so it seems like I'm not talking so much.
Of course, most people apparently miss half of what I said.  Frustrating.  Just pretend your working on a research paper.  Remember what the teach used to say?  Summarize the paragraph in one sentence.  So, if you catch ten words out of thirty five?  [Okay, 55] then you got the just of it and the rest was just a gravy of details.
Okay, really.  I'm going to make like a tree -- and leaf.  I'll catcha' later -- Tomater.  After awhile -- Crocodile.  I'm makin' like a pinata -- and gonna' beat it!
Happy Bleepin'  Sleepin'!
[Editor's Note:  Okay, made the rounds.  No one's up.  I'm hitting the hay, hopefull at 4:02 a.m. Chicken Biskets, tomorrow's gonna' be rough!]
[Editor's Note x2:  Never could get back to sleep.  Oh, I tried.  Then, when the boys woke and readied to leave I requested that they leave quietly so as not to wake Lil'Gal.  (I still thought I had a chance at a few minutes).  I'm a gonner today! :-(  ]
"Sleepless in South Texas"



Anonymous said...

I thought about being up, but my dh never woke me for my snoring (I get sent to the sofa by mutal agreement). So I happily slept in my own bed until 4:45am. Sorry.

Did you ever go check out Derfwad Manor?

Knight said...

That sounds awful. You need an eye mask to keep the light out. I used to sleep with one until I got used to my new environment.

I bet I could keep up with your fast talking. I can be a fast talker as well. Sometimes I skip words because it takes too long to say them all. It comes across in my typing.Who has the time to slow things down for everyone else?

gary rith said...

gotta find shiner at the beer store.....

g-man said...

OOoo Bummer dude. I know what is like not to sleep. I hope you can catch up soon.

Beer is good.

Have a nice day.