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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Mommy Failure...sigh...

I noticed when checking Lil'Gals' teeth at night after brushing, that she had a slight discoloration on her back molar(s).  The left and the right.  Last trip to the Dentist months ago, we were made aware to be watching because the enamel was weakened back there.
So, the night before last, as I'm checking her teeth I notice something that doesn't look right.  I have her open up her mouth in the "bright lights" of my kitchen and yep.   There is something there that shouldn't be.  I brush it.  I brush it again.  I brush it another time but it doesn't seem to move or dislodge itself.
I take her to my bathroom vanity and choose a little stick pin, just to prod in hopes it was left over dessert or meat or something.  Nope.  Crap-Diddly.  I call  the dentist's office yesterday and get her in this morning for an exam.
Not one cavity?  But, two.  One on each molar.  Though, they are slight occlusions I still feel like I failed her.  I've prided myself in my children having strong, healthy, cavity free teeth.
That's another part of why I nursed them.  It was really hard running the business and working 50-60 hour weeks with a colicky infant.  But, I still made it to six months and extra breast milk to carry him another couple of months.
Lil'Gal I didn't get to nurse as long, but I did have a stock pile to get her through her sixth month.  We had issues with reflux and sleep apnea and when she quit breathing on me and had to go on the monitor it made it hard for both she and I to keep up my production.  [Sorry, Men, TMI?]
Anyhow, I'm not judging but I noticed the fact that children of friends that I have who weren't nursed tended to lose their teeth way early and also had issues with cavities and dental hygiene.  My children have teeth like concrete or steel.  The roots on the first two teeth Farmer, Jr. lost were as long as the teeth were high.  Anyhow, it gave me added comfort that I was blessed to be able to nurture them that way.  I know it is hard for a lot of moms and some choose not to and that is fine.  As parents, we all have to nurture our children as we see best.
Though, Lil'Gal is my sweet tooth of the family.  And, she's sneaky.  Always has been.  There have been a number of times when I find "fruit chewy" wrappers under her bed or in a clothing bin in her closet.  DH and I ponder back and forth about just putting a lock on the pantry door.
And, I'm the Mom that will brush their teeth in their sleep if I have to.  If it's been a later evening or they fall asleep on the way home from an event, etc.
So, now she has occlusions.  And, I have that ugly feeling of failure inside my chest.  Like I let myself down, and her too.  Thank goodness these are baby teeth and when the new ones replace them she'll be old enough to care for them herself...  Though, I'll still super-nag her about it.
She is concerned though.  We discuss the germies and how they like sweets more than vegetables but if hungry, they'll eat anything.  Thus, always brush.  She wanted to see Dr. D immediately to have him see if he could disengage the germ infestation.  Well, he will next week.  With silver fillings.  [GASP!  SIGH!  Announce to the world that I failed, why don't ya'.]
Though, they will be small.  And, this isn't my first failure.  I've lost my patience a time too many and too out of control that probably left more negative impact than this incident.  But, I wanted to be the Mom that went down in the books with the (everyone so hates me) story of "My children never had a cavity till the day they moved out on their own."
Time to get over myself, huh?  Some SuperMom.  Here I can shoot bleach and Pine-Sol from my fingertips.  I can dust the floors with my mopsocks while washing dishes, tending to the laundry and making great birthday party favors.  I can clean a house and make it sparkle.  But, teeth?  Well, in all my effort I floundered.  So far with just the one though.  And, I told DH that we "do need" to lock that pantry with exception of free fare snack times, meal times, etc.
We don't keep lots of sweets around and most of the snacks (exception to DH's chips) are pretty healthy.   Though, if they are being consumed without my knowledge and spending hours lodge in teeth in party prep for the cavity fest then I need to find a way to circumvent this tragedy.
Hey, maybe I'll interview our pediatric dentist and his wife, the adult dentist and see if Lis wants an article on Dental Health for Root & Sprout.  There's an idea.  So, maybe I won't be a total failure after all.
Hmpft!  Stupid germs.  Stupid bacteria.  Stupid Cavities.  I hate those B@$tards!
Happy Hump-Diggity Day!  And don't forget to brush!! And, FLOSS!!!

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12 comments:

kcinnova said...

Oh, FW, you are NOT a failure!!
Molars are tricky teeth. My oldest had a cavity, and thus a filling, in one of his baby teeth. Once your kids get their permanent molars, be sure to get them sealed. It has saved us many cavities in this house, I am sure. It probably would have saved me, too. *sigh*
I had a dentist who was so cautious, he put sealants on his own children's baby molars! And yes, he admitted that was going a bit far.
I also have a son (H-J, boy #3) who is a sugar hound and sneaky. We started charging him a quarter for every candy wrapper we find in his room. And we threaten him with using the electric toothbrush (he hates it) if he doesn't do a good job of brushing his teeth.
Frankly? The teeth brushing needs to become something they (the kids) want to do for themselves, for their own health. The trick is to get them to want it badly enough. When you find the key, let me know!

Farmer*swife said...

Thanks kc! I know it's one of those things. But, still I'm upset by it. Though, I'm slightly vain in it all.

They do brush and understand why and they "like" the electric toothbrush! LOL!

In fact, it's been a big hit around here. Just gotta be on them more. Make them start brushing after snacks too. [Personally, I brush multiple times a day. I just can't help it.]

Thanks again for the confidence boost! And, the charging for wrappers in the room is a great idea!

;-)

Prohomemaker.Com said...

My poor Mother must have been a basket case with me -- honey, there are more holes in my head than in a piece of Swiss cheese! To me, it sounds like you are doing a great job.

Let yourself off the hook for this one. Save the guilt for when they throw scissors at one another (like I did with my brother -- biggest wooping I *ever* got)

:-)

Big Mommy hugs to you. :-)

Lis Garrett said...

Oh Nova . . . you did not fail your daughter. The good thing about baby teeth is that they eventually fall out. But I agree with KC, have her adult molars sealed. And maybe no more chewy fruity snacks. Those are the worst. Milk and white bread can cause cavities, too, so maybe have Lil Gal brush her teeth three times a day instead of two.

Bridget has her first cleaning on Monday, and I'm secretly scared. She is our sugar fiend, and I can already see a little plaque buildup arond one of her front teeth. I brushed her teeth so hard one day, I made her gums bleed. Oops!

PS - I have one cavite. Got it when I was ten, and I cried my eyes out. LOL!

Knight said...

This really isn't something you could have complete control over. Everyone has different shapes and indents in their teeth. Lil'Gal might have just been born slightly more prone to it. Little tiny fillings that will fall out anyway are no big deal at all. Maybe the tooth fairy offers a little extra cash for the silver?

Baseball Mom said...

Aww mommy!! Take it easy on yourself.

Bad (or good way you see it) thing about sealing molars. You can not eat sticky items or chew gum. It will pull the seal right off. Kids dentist told me that last time we were in. Mine hates the fact he is no longer allowed to chew. He got use to chewing while playing ball. Oh well! Your not pulling your sealent off.

Krishna said...

Not too bad. Payne's molars are crumbling so we have sealers on them and front teeth are discolored. and i nursed him. old dentist did not know what caused it. we see a new dentist on monday but i did read that kids that had more than normal doses of amoxil as babies have more teeth problems......

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

These things happen. I grew up with very little sugar in my life, BUT all my dad's teeth have cavities and my mother has not a single one. SO, I ended up in the middle with something like 6-7. And in front, the lower teeth? Those keep falling apart and they have to rebuild them, and I brush and am very good, but you know, inherited teeth....My dentist a couple of years ago insisted that we remove all the metal and install wicked expensive white porcelain ones that are supposed to last forever. They look good, I suppose. And he and his wife have a house on Nantucket Island, I KID YOU NOT, which at 400-700 bucks a filling he should have a yacht parked in front of that house too....
(we moved and my childhood dentist moved too, and can you believe we accidentally ended up in the same town and I see him next week as a matter of fact, and he is quite affordable)

Farmer*swife said...

Thank y'all. Compared to things we've dealt with with the kids, this is a small, humbling cookie.

Still, I felt like it was something I had control over.

I HATE not being in control. :-D

jezdez said...

Mom, it's not your fault. Try not to worry about "you being the failure." You know it was LilGals doing; as sneaky as she is. :(
BUT, I will continue to honor your wishes and will not bring candy/sweets to your children! :)

WPMomOf2 (jen) said...

It is NOT your fault!! As a kid I had TONS of cavities. I think it is just more common in some of us!

Juggling Act said...

Sorry to hear about the cavities. Guilt, guilt, guilt...it can eat a mom alive, ya know? Glad you're venting. My kids are going to the dentist on Monday. Uh oh...

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