Then again? Maybe she's a klepto...

It is quite possible, she's not a thief at all.  It is quite possible, that she is, indeed, a kleptomaniac. Is it possible to assess and diagnose in a five-year-old?

What are you taking about, FW?  You are asking.  Let me tell you a little story about how it all went down.

Last Night:

Mom is on her way out.  DH is at the chili dinner at the VFW.  I preferred to stay home to prep for the week that was about to begin in approximately twelve hours.  And, I didn't feel like exposing the children to the fog of cigarette smoke there.  

Mom calls, though running late [quite late], she will be pulling in shortly. 

I have Mom's money.  Mom is on a very limited budget due to her disabilities inflicted from a work related vehicular accident.   This is a whole other story for another time.

So, I have her money and I also have some Christmas cash and Birthday cash for the teenager who is about to turn 14.

But, where is my purse?  I can't find my purse!!  My cell phone is here, so my purse must have made it home from church and CCD.  I call DH.  Nope, no purse left in his truck.  No purse in the pantry.  No purse in the nook.  Funny, I don't recall those keys being there though.  Didn't they used to reside in my purse?

The pasta is now boiling over and making a mess all over my range top.  The sausage has not been put on the pit.  The kids need to shower, but still, I can't find my purse.  So, I send Mom and the teenager off after having searched everywhere, with a few dollars I was able to find.

Then begins the full scale investigation.  I know that purse is around here.  You wanna' know how I know?  Because my new little video camera is also here.  On the bar, next to the cell phone, next to the LT, confirming the purse was here.

And, I am a creature of habit.  I have rules for myself and I adhere to them very closely. Because if I do not, then things get out of place and life doesn't run smoothly.  Rule for the purse:  Either leave it in the pantry or leave it in the nook.  Period.

Can you guess where I begin?  Yep. Lil'Gal's room.  

I'd previously dashed through there a time or two in my rampart effort to find the dang thing. This time would be more thorough.  Lil'Gal, of course, is at my side wondering to herself out loud about "wherever could Mama's purse be?"    Ever so innocent and helpful.  

She hovers more tightly when I near the scene of the current criminality, and she falls aside as I veer from it.  Not knowing she's giving herself away.

I notice a bulge in her bed skirt.  I pick it up and place my face to the floor and what do I see? 

No purse.

There is, however, a full bag of powdered sugar, next to an empty bag of chocolate baking morsels, which rests beside a container of sprinkles and a canister of frosting.  The frosting is half eaten and has very identifying finger marks within. 

And, I was blaming myself for those two little cavities.  For griping out loud!

Another issue to be dealt with, but first item at hand -- find.that.purse!

I enter the closet.  Yep.  HOT.   She's stuck to me like glue!  "Mama, it's not in here!  I looked for you already."  Me, "Let me just take a look myself."  I scan the shelves and bins, and drawers with the keene sight of a Mother.  And then, I see it!  At the very top of her closet!  How the he!! did she get it up there?

Finally, I reach it and it is completely empty.  Panic hits me like a bat to the face!  I no longer have control, and I holler out, "WHERE'S MY CRAP!"

Long story short, she pulls all of my stuff out of two other purses (both, formerly mine).  I'm so relieved to have not lost money, identification, and so many other things that are housed in my purse.  How to handle this?  I really had to take a step back.  This was bad, and she knows not to get into my purse.

She does it anyway, but she knows better.  And, I never in a million years would have thought she'd out right steal it.  I can't blame her that her fingers are so viscid, can I?  Because this is not theft, this is out right kleptomania.  

FYI? DH's list of things to do today includes a note to "purchase lock for pantry door."  In good parenting, I will keep the pantry locked from now on.  Because, she is only five, and obviously doesn't have the self-control to police herself.  The cravings for snacks and sweets are too strong.  Her mind is too stealthy for her to understand and her fingers too tacky to control.

So in steps Mom.  And, the purse?  Why did she take it?  Why such a vehement crime?  She wanted to be like Mommy.  Now what Mom can truly argue with that.  So, this was one of those times when I took a lesson from my own childhood.  And, instead of flipping out, I sat down on the floor and talked with her.

We discussed Mommies and Children and how hard it is to wait to grow up.  Remember?  Remember when it was so hard?  Though, she knows next time the gavel will fall.  There won't be a please, Dear Lord, don't let there be a next time.

Gotta' love the little klepto.  Tarnished halo, and all. :-)

Happy De-Lurking Monday!

Then again? Maybe she's a klepto...