Tragedy

You're hit from the blindside. We are all living our life, going about our way, as are our friends, and family and the rest of the world. The world keeps spinning on it's axis. The radio plays music, cable shows media, the movie theaters are open, people are shopping, laughing, living and going about their business. But, someone has been hit by this horrid thing....this thing that the dictionary and people have defined and named "Tragedy." No, not my personal tragedy. I'm so blessed to be able to say that my family is safe and unharmed and untouched by this "vile" wanna'be of a Devil's angel. 

But, a tragedy so deep and gut wrenching that once again my stomach's spasms are forcing it into my chest and I feel like I'm about to regurgitate my heart, because there just isn't enough room for them both. I keep swallowing it back down and my gut keeps shoving it back out and I swallow again, gagging slightly, but I know I need it to stay intact and in place. Friends so dear and sweet to me have suffered a great and "tragic" loss. Tragedy hasn't hit me or my family directly, but we are feeling the sucker punch of the side kick left from the hit to our friends. This is not my first go round with this, "Tragedy." Who is "Tragedy?" I understand heart attacks, I understand physical and medical illnesses though they are so unfortunate and seemingly unfair. But things like hurricanes, tornados, drownings, terroristic acts, vehicular accidents, fire and murder....Anything that hits you unexpectedly with no chance to fight -- to even try, these things, I do not understand. 

They hit and blow, the loss of love -- with no chance to even fight for it. For this, I get a little angry. Not with God. By no means. I get angry with "Tragedy." Tragedy is a coward. It won't ever show itself. It hits and runs. Leaving the rest of us to feel the pain and hurt and torment and sometimes even anger...confusion, and wondering, "Why?" "How?" And, again, "But, WHY?" 

For generations and throughout history, revelations, stories passed down through generations, in most recent years the media and society have empowered this "Tragedy." Like some evil, mystical force. I call Tragedy a weakling.  A wimp.   You take your vengance now while we are here on earth. You hit us while we are in the bullpen. You strike at those we care about because we have no power other than the choice of free will, the choice to love or to hate, the choice to live a dead life, or to pick up and keep going. You strike while we are being tested to see if we will emerge worthy. I'm so sick and tired of you. You Cheat. You don't play fair. I vow to you, oh so low and miserly tragedy, that your name will one day be the spit at the bottom of the cleft-hooved animal. One day, I will return to my maker and recloak my wings. And, then, I will come find you and you will bow in apologies and shame to those whom you have brought undue sadness, harm and hurt. You do not break me. You do not weaken me. You wish you could drink from my tears. Though tears of sadness, and sometimes fear and hurt and anger, my tears are still joyful. You want so badly to suckle just a taste of the happiness that permeates from my mind and my life. If only a drop from my furrowed brow. NO.

You cannot.  You will wreckon while you can.  Just know, the justice will be mine and to all those who believe with me.  And, you will be your own tragedy.  Be fearful. For, I am not.

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This is dedicated to all my friends and family who have suffered such great loss.  To Jeph and Sweet D and her family, to my own family, to all the losses I have shared and cut out pieces of my heart for.   And, tonight....  To our Dear Friends, TG and Mrs. Bex.  For the loss of TG's parents.  Two wonderful people.  We will miss you Greatly, Dr. Hurt (neurosurgeon and instructor) and Mrs. Hurt, spouse, mother, grandmother, supporter, friend.

Tragedy