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Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Anyone seen my "Monday?"

So, I didn't get my Monday post in. Phewy. I meant to, I was just too tired and sleepy to fight DH for the computer (which he probably would have turned right over to me last night because he was exhausted). But, as I was TOO tired also, I had to beat him to sleep or I'd be up waiting out the snore factor. Anyhow, Monday's biggest (not biggest, but biggest I feel like sharing) event. Monday was the "100th day of school" day. This is celebrated annually by the children bringing in 100 small, edible items of the same nature to school. 100 raisins, 100 cheerios, 100 pretzel sticks (no peanuts allowed), you get the idea. Then, the children "count" the items up to 100. Upon the counting of the items, the items are all mixed up together into one big "snack mix" which is equally distributed amongst the student population -- it's a private school, so this is about 37 kids. Sounds like a cute idea, huh? Well, here is how "my" mind sees it. Parents count out 100 items for their small children the night before. MOST wash their hands; if the Dad's prepared them, they probably just wiped them on their pants. Children deliver their 100 goodies to the teacher to be handed out at the time this project is to take place (ie: snack time). Meanwhile, some children have eaten some of their items, licking their fingers, and sticking them back in the bag for seconds. SNACK TIME: Teachers hand out each child's contribution to the "100th day of school" project. Children are instructed to [and assisted when needed] count their 100 (less the eaten few) items. During the counting some of these children will proceed to pick their nose, stick their finger in their ears, scratch in unknown places, dig between their toes [exposed by their sandals] and so forth. These children then continue to manipulate their snack contributions. Once all the counting has been done, the items are consolidated, mixed, and evenly distributed amonst the children. Thus sending home a snack bag filled of everyones cooties, boogar bits, ear wax and toe jam included. AFTER SCHOOL: My children run to the vehicle, their teacher escorts barely able to keep up with them. "Mama! Look what we made today!" ME: "Ooooh, snack mix. That's nice." CHILDREN: "You want some?" Hiding my gag reflex...."um, No Thank you. Mama's not very hungry right now." "But we MADE it....just one marshmellow." I see that I will not win so I agree to partake in the lime green colored mini-marshmellow. Hmmm, minty. Not too bad. At which point it melts from a small cylinder of puff into a minty slime the consistency of snot. Marshmellow is expelled from my mouth as my gag reflex kicks in (luckily I had kleenex in the console). "Good huh, Mama?" "Yes, baby, just yummy."


Knight said...

It's still better than bar mix! I even trust children crud more than the grime off the hands of bar flies.

Scottifer said...

Ok Sis this germaphobia has to end. I fear that you'll live in a sterile environment and some lil bug that my immune system wouldn't even think twice about will kill ya. Go play in the dirt. Stick around a while I like having a sister. =)

Farmer*swife said...

That's what the wine and Shiner are for. They help keep me "level."

Debbie @ Three Weddings said...

I hate that 100 day of school stuff. Thankfully our school doesn't seem to be doing it lately.