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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Germ Warefair

So, all is well in my little world [within my Kingdom and Castle]. I'm running laundry, cleaned my floors (again, kids) and am actually enjoying some ironing for a change. Been a long time since I'd ironed. But, that's because I couldn't find the iron.

In the new house I have a [shhh, new iron] because my old "new" iron dissappeared about a year ago and I refuse to use hubby's old iron as it a) sucks b) has duck tape on the wiring c) the element is exposed d) burns all clothing.

Happily, I am ironing our "cloth napkins" that we were given when married. Ten years later we've decided to start using them. Only, they wrinkle, badly, when washed.

While pleasantly enjoying my peace and quiet [with exception of the little sound of a steaming iron] the phone rings. Knowing ME, you know there are one of two things wrong with this.

1) the phone RANG 2) it's the SCHOOL. Not good. Someone is either hurt or sick. See, the doom thing about the phone? Anyhow.

So, I head to pick up my "what I hope is over-heated son" [he refuses to take off the hoodie sweat jacket once he's put it on]. Teacher says, she too, tried to get him to remove it. I remove it and we all head home, sister in tow because I'm not paying for gas for an extra trip back in an hour.

We get home. He's slobbering in his sleep across my seat belt. Shit. This can't be good. BTW? The whole way home I was listenting to "Montel" and his "germaphobe" episode on the radio. Like, "I" really need that...especially, at this point in the day.

So, once home I head daughter through germ free route to her room. I open son's vehicle door and BEFORE removing him -- I head to the playroom first, to hit the toys and then hit all door handles in the house with "Lysol" to be sure the infestation moves no further than the host it already inhabits.

I then return to remove son from my SUV and to his bedroom. I take his temp, 100.3 and dose tylenol. Still, all the while, hoping he's over-heated. 20 minutes later, this is what I find.

His temp is 100.8. CRAP...definately, ill. Now? I have to detox my vehicle...and then it's FULL OUT germ warfair. So, while cleaning my [leather, kid ruined] seats I think....hmmm, is PineSol good for leather? I try it out. Okay, clean, disinfected....leather survived. Then, I "fog" the vehicle with Lysol and leave a floating mask within the vehicle -- all germs locked inside for final anihilation.

I return to the laundry room with toxic clothing, booster seat and booster seat cover. All fabrics go in the washer with detergent, and yes, Pine Sol. If you think you've smelled Pine Sol on my children and their clothing -- it's not lemon musk. It IS Pine-Sol.

These are my Germ Warfair Staples. They will both "protect me" and get me through this, safely well and un-inhabited by the vile molecular invaders.

The naked booster seat gets a good once over with Pine-Sol and Lysol itself. Then, I run rampidly through the rest of the house. As I hit the computer room, I realize. I am good with phones, door knobs, base boards, light switches, remote controls, mice [the rodent and electronic kind]....but, I've missed...the key board. So, I head for alcohol [the rubbing sort] and Que-tips and cotton swabs. I will be sure to clean this key board when I finally finish this blog.

Then, my sweet daughter comes after me...all feeling left out and claiming to be ill. Funny, she doesn't feel warm. So, to make her feel included, I take her temp. She, too is running fever now. 101. WTH? She doesn't feel it on the outside but those damn invaders are filling her insides with their destructive contamination.

So, my day tomorrow (hopefully, not the WHOLE weekend) will be filled of lots of this.

To boot? My daughter is happy about it. So, now she and big-brother can hang out "sickly" together. Man. Can germs moleculate through cyber space? Just curious. I read my BB's blog yesterday and her son was ill. Hmmmmm. Impossible? I still wonder! LOL Wish, well!


Krishna said...

CYE! Payne started with just fever...and now a cough and fever blisters on his mouth now!

Tink said...

You iron? Girl, I haven't ironed a day in my life. You know what Hoop and I do? We throw the clothes back in the dryer five minutes before we have to wear them. LOL. Yes, we're really THAT lazy.

And your comment on my blog? LOVED it. ((HUG))

R.E.H. said...

Sick kids... that can't be fun. But you sure put up a fight against those germs - I wouldn't want to be a germ at your house ;)

Hope they get better quickly.

captain corky said...

I think we need to get you a pair of roller skates so it's easier for you to move from room to room. ;)

Hope everyone is feeling better!

Farmer*swife said...

Y'all make me laugh! Thanks tons for that!

Knight said...

I used to iron my hair every day. Yes, with the clothing iron.
I'm surprised a germ can enter your house. You really put pinesol in the washer? I didn't know you could do that.

Farmer*swife said...

knightWhen there are germs due to illness? Yes, I really do Pine-Sol the laundry.

It tells you the measurement on the back label. But, I generally just "pour it like liquor."