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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fox Toxins anyone? I'm an IDIOT.

With all else going on with my MIL who is still in the hospital [apparently, there are five broken ribs, not three -- and one in two places] -- illness has now also invaded and is infecting it's way through the family. My SIL has some type of virus (white blood cell count was off, but not flu or anything) so she is "quaranteened" to her house until we think she'll be clear. (ie: free of fever, snot, and generally good health for 48 hours after we think she's over it). My baby SIL works all week. The office secretary/manager/cousin is out with a stomach bug and as my Dad-in-law is at the hospital and they guys are all tied up fertilizing and fixing broken tractor parts -- I get to "man" the office today. AND, YES. I DID LYSOL EVERYTHING. Including keyboards, phones, light switches (they need some serious cleaning) and door knobs. Basically, I'm to answer the phones and handle any drop ins. So, I was feeling pretty much in control [IMPORTANT] and on top of things (afterall, I did own and manage a legal business for 12 plus years)...I made two appointments for pest control on the books, handled a message and have great notes of what calls to follow up on and confirm, all by about 9:30 this morning. AND, I'd even gotten my WWC posted to my blog (though, a day late). So, a farmer we know drops by to pick up some chemical he needs to fumigate some bugs outa' something -- grain, I'm guessing. Now, chemicals are not my "expertise." And, yes, I've hear a few of the terms but remember I'm just here to answer phones. So, he walks in picks up a clipboard full of triplicate invoices, hands it to me and says, "Write me up." I stare at him blankly. I blink. (I wasn't really expecting any "drop ins" today and he kinda' interupted my blogging thought process). I finally, respond "Um, I'm just covering and I don't know how." [Thinking, I don't have even a clue of what write you up means]. So HE TELLS ME HOW. Ugh, can you say, idiot [me, not him]? Oh wait, it gets MUCH BETTER. You'll be laughing quite surely in a few more sentences. "ABC GRAIN CO." I write it on the line that asks for "company/client." Now the next statement included a word that caught me off gaurd for a second, and I didn't quite understand it with his southern drawl (which, I have myself, I think..somewhat and am generally good at interpreting it). Anyhow, it might have been the mustache that twanged the sound a little. This is what I heard, "5 cases of Fox Toxin" (so, he's got a fox problem and he wants some toxins for them). I write down FOX...he starts to laugh. What? That's what he said. While he's still commenting about how funny it is and that "they'll [meaning everyone else who actually works here] get a kick out of that," it hits me, he meant "Phostoxin" or however you spell it. So, now that I'm looking somewhat...dumb. He adds, "and 6 cases of [I hear] duxmasts." Hmmm, that's a new one. So, I say, "Can you spell that for me?" "You know, DUST like dust? And, MASKS like masks?" [sssiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhh, embarassedly, sigggghhhhh]. So, he leaves me with a look like where on earth did my husband find me and how did he hook up with a "nitwit." Smiles, and leaves. I am wallowing in humiliation -- he thinks I am a TOTAL idiot....I'M NOT!!!! Less than two minutes later the phone rings and it's my DH. Apparently, farmer guy called him to tell him of my little FOX and spelling issues. He told my DH, jokingly, that I should have my hair died or streaked with some blonde...or something to that affect. Oh, they had a great laugh. DH found it very funny too. So, by this afternoon if they visit the VFW it will be all over farm town that I apparently, have an idiot gene. I'll never live it down. I'm gonna' hear about this at every fish fry, gin dinner, co-op meeting, and any other place farmers frequent and I will feel them secretly snickering. FOX Toxins...seriously. What the hell was I thinking. Maybe I can hold on to what is left of my dignity -- as I think I'm only scheduled to be here another hour or so.


Tink said...

It's not your fault that rednecks need to come with their own translator! LOL.

Farmer*swife said...

tink I was the "actual" idiot here. I can't believe I was actually thinking "fox" toxins when I've heard my DH say phostoxin a kazillion times.

Brain fart. But, missing the "obvious" dust masks was just the icing on the idiocracy cake. Phew. ;)

Krishna said...

LMAO funny! what a great start to your day...

Scottifer said...

That gene must come from your mother's side.....I hope. =)

Farmer*swife said...

scottifer VERY FUNNY Lil' Brother, ha ha LOL

It does run in the female side apparently. Just wait till' my next post...guess who got caught in/on a glue board? (Nope, wasn't me)

Farmer*swife said...

Okay, so I've met him several times before but didn't realize he's German/Texan. I love that Texan accent with a touch of German twang...I've just never had to have a chemically related discussion, in an environment not totally my own (or without beer) to understand/translate it.

I DO, however, understand beeaahr. Cuz' beer is a universal language, LOL!!!

I told DH, I'm gonna' send him a card that asks if he handled his "fox" problem, ha ha! Oh, and that I could sell him some "toxins" if he needed them! LOL