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Monday, February 25, 2008

Things that piss me off...

So, my door bell rang mid morning (and the "kids" are in school). If you know how I feel about the phone? You can imagine how I feel about the door bell.

If you actually have to "ring" this thing? Then, three things cross my mind:
a) who the hell are you
b) are you dangerous
c) how long will it take me to get to my gun

Because anyone who knows me doesn't ring my door bell. The only reason why we even have one is in the event the gate is open and I have UPS ship to my door rather than the office (which, UPS pissed me off today too, by the way. But, I'll get to that.) Or, the occassional random guest attending a party at my house or something.

We live in the country. You don't really ring a door bell, in the country. Besides? My house is located about a good size foot ball field off the road. Ah, but see? I left the gate open cuz' it's a heavy @ss hassle to close it behind me every flippin' time I enter or exit. [I don't know why I didn't take the dirt trail through the field in the back].

So, it's the county tax appraisal people. Here to "measure" my home. Um, we had this done for the loan and all -- can't you just "look it up?" So, they are walking around my house and I can't escape them because we have windows everywhere and no shutters or blinds yet. Which I really don't want, because I love my view -- when there aren't people in it.

Then? They ring it.....AGAIN. These people are brave. So, they ask me for a copy of my house plans because we apparently have a lot of angles and it makes their job hard for them. [Seriously people? You are trying my nerves.... I am armed and I can be very dangerous - just ask one of the Buck's mounted in my living room].

Then they ask about the bonus room. "Is it finished out?" Um, mostly. We did it ourselves. "Well, how finished is it?" What -- are you the home builder police? Am I getting graded [no taxed] on the degree a room is finished? Hey, if it's cheaper? Nope. It's not finished.

"So that'd be 90% finished?" Whatever you think lady. Just send me what you come up with and I'll have my hubby correct you on it. :)He's not real crazy about the "tax" police appraiser either.

I was kind of course. "Sorry, we don't have an extra set of house plans for you. Okay, bye bye. now get the f!!-explicative hell off my property Have a nice day."

So then, my Dad calls. He's on his way back to Texas to deal with this divorce BullShit cowpoop and his birthday present I ordered for him hadn't arrived yet.

So, I go to these guys and track it. Seein' as I can't find it, I call them. The lady seemed up-tight and cranky. I don't think it was anything personal...just her general demeanor and all. So, she tells me there is nothing they can do. The UPS guy is going to attempt to deliver the package [to a locked gate, in the woods]. Then he'll leave a little message with said gate, and try again the next day.

So, I'm thinking this is a whole lot of wasted time and fuel and I don't want the package sitting in the woods gettin' chewed and crapped on by deer, squirrels, wild hogs, and other animal sorts. I question her again, "Doesn't the UPS guy have to make a little note to this account that he 'attempted' to deliver the package?" She replies Yes. "Then, can't YOU put a little note in there on the account that states to wait until his expected return date?" She puts me on hold.

She comes back with "No." She can, however, call the UPS facility there in Dad's town and tell THEM to tell HIM/UPS guy that my Dad won't be there until xx/xx/xx date. Right, isn't that what I was getting at "anyhow?"

But, she re-iterates that the guy will still have to go out there three times -- before, he can put a five day hold on the package (I don't even need five days). "Fine," I say....and add, "Sure sounds like a big waste of fuel to me, but hey..."

SO THEN, she agrees with me and gets into all the politics of the oil industry and the hungry people that need to work and feed their families. Now, I'm starting to chuckle to myself because I've hit a nerve with her and she thinks we are on the same side. She ends her tirade with " if UPS wants to waste their fuel -- let'em. " I just want my Dad to get the damn package. That's all.

And, third bitch gripe of the day? See below? Who does this? This is BIG peave with me.

If you're going to use the last paper towel on the roll, then it is your responsibility to "replace" the empty roll with a new one. This didn't actually happen today [yet, the day is still early] but it does happen very frequently around here. So, I took the pic this weekend. I just didn't get around to griping about it -- till now. Figured it was appropriate seein' as how I was already good and gripy.

Thanks for reading and have a happy Monday!



Krishna said...

Why stop now--you're on a roll, girl! I hate the tax appraisal people and won't like them till I get mys disability apprived then my taxes go WAY DOWN!! then I might like them

Scottifer said...

Sis everyone knows it was Scott "The Paper Towel King" Ordner. Spoke with Dad and going to lunch and dinner tomorrow with him 4 his birthday. Luv y'all.

R.E.H. said...

Whoa! Wait a second... did I read that right?

The UPS guy STILL has to go out there, package in hand, attempting to deliver when they KNOW he will not be home? Three times? BEFORE they put a five day hold on it?

That's not only a waste of gas... it's plain old stupid!

Farmer*swife said...

UPS Update: So, while looking up the number for my Dad so he could talk to the guy "he knows" that delivers to his rural route -- I get a "non-idiot" on the phone.

I tell him what the last lady told me and he agreed, "That is rediculous!" So, he clicks a few clicks (like I thought it should go) and my Dad calls me ten minutes later that his local UPS place called "him" and told him no worries...we'll see ya' on xx/xx/xx day!

Days like these make me hate all people except: friends, family, bloggie buddies...and??? That's it.

Jay said...

I've never really had trouble with UPS. I really wanted to find a FedEx guy and kick him in the you-know-whats last year around Christmas time though. I don't know how some of those people find their way to work each day.

Chatty said...

HA! sounds like you had quite a day. God bless customer service, eh? But paper towels? Sure, it would be NICE if certain people replaced the empty rolls, but I believe in picking my battles - if I can only have one, I'll take the TOILET PAPER roll, please! I am NOT a big fan of stumbling into the bathroom in the middle of the night, trying to keep my eyes shut and so remain partially asleep, only to reach over and feel...the empty roll, and realize that the spare rolls are not QUITE within reach, and that I am going to have to lean OVER and OUT to get to the cabinet below the sink. Naturally, this discovery always takes place AFTER one's business is done, because one NEVER remembers to check FIRST. Grrrrrrrrrrr. And the innocent look on the perpetrator's face, coupled with "Gee, I thought I changed that!" just makes me growl louder...

Farmer*swife said...

Oh, Chatty I think we think a lot alike. But, as important as the rule is in the should be the same rule, in any room? Right? LOL