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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Temper Tantrums and Idiot Drivers

So, once again while traveling to take the kids to school I get caught behind the stupid, idiot, super-slow driver. And, as there is some construction on one side of the road -- he can't move over. Well, this morning's driver couldn't. Idiots from Nebraska this afternoon could but chose not to. TOTALLY MESSES WITH MY MIND when people can't drive somewhere near the speed limit. This morning I could get the guy to "almost" go 58 in a 70mph zone. This afternoon? They were going under 50!!!!!! AGHGHGHGHGHA!! And, would not move over to the shoulder. And, as there was oncoming traffic just often enough I couldn't pass them either. Nothing personal against Nebraska. I guess it was my fault my front end was up their @$$ so closely that I could almost touch their plates. I thought, they might get the hint. Sheeze Whiz!! But, then, TODAY started out as a ruckus. All was well as I was savoring/debating about the new flavor of coffee I bought. [I went to a different store yesterday, and although, they had Folgers -- they didn't have the "Gourmet line." Trying to push their similar store brand crap.] It's alright....but, it's no Creme Brulee. So, I'm dressed. Son is dressed. Scrambled eggs and toast are on the table. Daughter is dressing in what was supposed to be the clothes I'd layed out for her. She comes in wearing pink shorts and a short sleeved purple frog shirt. It's 58 degrees outside with a wind chill in the 40s. She's not wearing that to school. Oh, but she states enfatically, that she most definately IS. And, SO? The battle began. If Supernanny would have been here I would've probably looked like a total dumb ass with "no control" over my daughter. Come on, I'm 35 and she's only 4 1/2. But, she is strong....strong willed.....and figuring out she might even be smarter than me. DH would have belted her a couple of good ones. I don't really like the belt as I'm not very agile with it. And, I still have a few night mares of my own from those occassional [but unecessary] beatings I received -- with the welps on the hands because -- after all. If someone is aiming to whip your ass with a belt? Your hands can't help but try to save said ass. So, I did paddle [my preference is a wooden spoon, I'm more accurate and have better control of the "intensity."] I did raise my voice. I did try reasoning. My mind made the effort to recall every helpful parenting advice I've ever read and I tried it all. It came down to me holding her down on the bed, stripping off the shorts, fighting to get the pants on. I put a leg in, she pulls a leg out. I put another leg in, she pulls the other leg out! By the time I get the pants on her and a long sleeved shirt I am sweating like a pig -- and, I don't typically sweat. Even, outside in 95 degree weather I hardly break a "glisten." So, I carry her (all the while she is still flipping around like a 45lb fish in my arms) to the kitchen table so I can "do her hair." Finally, after getting her hair done I'm thinking maybe it's hotter outside that I thought since I'm still over heated. And, as she is still bitching complaining about the "ugly" brown shirt -- I offer that she may change the brown long sleeve sparkly shirt for a short sleeved pink one (that would match the cute pink and green cammo pants she was wearing). After that we load up. She is crying, whining, and generally being a pain-in-the-asset. I have to force her in the truck and "sit" on her to keep her in her booster seat so I can buckle her up. I get in the front seat to drive and she unbuckles. My patience is about out the door and I have to mumble my old mantra I hadn't used in a few years....what I could remember: "I am a loving parent, I am in CONTROL....something, something, something, I will NOT EXPLODE." So, she about finally gets over it after whining, bitching and crying the next ten minutes or so on our way to school. When we finally arrive she is laughing playfully with her brother. As I open the door to expel her let her out of the vehicle and ask if she feels better and is ready to be a kinder, gentler daughter, she knots her face up and gets all whiny again. But, when we walk into class? Oh, she's all peaches and cream. I told Mrs. K, " If you only knew what I really went through this morning." Head back out to my truck in cold windy weather and put the a/c back on to cool my body, mind, and temperment. Of course, on the way back home I got stuck behind another slow driver. I sware.

1 comment:

Knight said...

How do you do it? I think I would lose my mind trying to get a fighting child into pants. I felt your fury at the unbuckle. I could see it in my mind, pulling the car to the side of the road and turning back at the kids "I'll turn this car around and send you off to boarding school!" Maybe that just happened to me....