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Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Stench of Bull Manure is permeating my day!

Holy Bleepin' Cowpies!  I'm becoming agitated an infuriated rather quickly this morning!  Because the bureaucracy of the medical system is a bunch of Bull Manure and it's mighty 'smelly-bad' about now!
Farmer, Jr. had an MRI scheduled "during" Hurricane IKE.  [Something to due with some leg pain and his gate.]  Well, obviously, IKE screwed all that up.  So, I call the Neurologist last week to reschedule this "grand event."
It's just and MRI.  Farmer, Jr. climbs up on the table in his little outpatient gown; they take "video imaged" pictures of his lower spine from the inside for about 45 minutes.  He dresses.  We go home.
NOOOO.  Apparently?  The authorization (insurance and medical director approval requirement) will expire -- this weekend.  So, they want to do the MRI tomorrow mid-morning.
Okay.  I can handle this.  I don't like glitches in my schedule but I can flex it with 24 hours notice.  Oh, but his "physical" expired too.  You know.  Right after IKE.  And, they can't let him climb up on that little table without a current physical.  And, doesn't this type of cowpoop just have to happen at the END of the bleepin' week right about....weekend time.
"Call your pediatrician and get squeezed in."  Oh, so it's that simple.  [Well, for me it is because I'll just show up and won't leave till he sees my child/ren.  I've done it before in a crisis of illness.]  But, we have a dental appointment for "both children" this afternoon, immediately after school.  Which is a trek in itself because I have to fly from B town through counties to the "Big City" where all the doctors are.
I already confirmed this appt.  I don't want to pay charges for last minute cancellation/rescheduling.  And, why can't the rest of y'all work it out since the problems and issues lie within this confusing little world of paperwork and insurance...crap?  Right?
So they try.  Pediatrician calls the Neurologist's office and they discuss and the only way to get the current "Physical" is if I cancel the "other appointment I already had on the books today" and wait until closing to be squeezed in for Farmer, Jr.'s updated physical.  Which, I love our pediatrician and I know that my child is healthy, and we are on top of everything.  So, basically by "Updated Physical" they mean:  3 hour wait in a loud, uncomfortable waiting room with kids who are ill and a $25.00 co-pay.  
So, three or six phone calls and returns and relating back and forth?  I get the dental thing rescheduled (thank goodness I know the folks there -- but I wasn't going to tell the other medical offices that because it still isn't really fair to the people/doctor I know.) 
Day Surgery calls to do registration on Farmer, Jr.  And, then they tell me no food or drink with the exception of clear liquids after like midnight.  Apple juice is okay so long as it is before 8:00 a.m.  [What in the Bleepin' Chicken Coop Poop are you talking about?  People!]
ME:  ANESTHESIA?
ADMIN:  Yes, for the MRI.
ME:  All he has to do is lay still on that little table and count the beeps for 45 minutes.  I've been through this before.  I've been through it with my Mom.  I've been through it with my five-year-old several times.
ADMIN:  Oh, you don't want the anesthesia?  Because, that would be a whole lot easier.
ME:  [Fummmmming, and between gritted teeth]  Yes.  It would.  Wouldn't it.  No cancelled appointment.  No miserable waste of time at the pediatrician's office.  No, re-application for approval from the insurance and the Medical Director (whatever the bleep that person's purpose is.  I sware it's just a made up person and title to intimidate parents into jumping through hoops).
It "would be" simpler, quicker procedure in the morning.  Less missed school.
[Again to myself:  And, me?  Not contemplating going freak-style, angry Mama, Schwaka-chacka on everyone!!!!]
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So, now that I am "finally" informed about the anesthesia part (at the last, fricken, bleepin' minute)?  I get to go back and undo and redo alllllll the conversations I've already had and been juggling for the last two hours.  All because of one word that noooooo one found important enough to mention to me at any point and time, prior to today -- anesthesia.
Son of a Stinky Bull-@$$ BLEEP!
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The MORAL of the STORY is:  Make sure you are all on the same page, people!  There IS a manual!
Happy B!tch!n'!  I mean, Bleepin'!!

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7 comments:

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

NUCKING FUTTS!

tt said...

All ya'll crack me up...I love the way you cuss!!! lmao!!
You're so tenacious! Get'em girl.
You go on with your bad self and tell them how the cow ate the cabbage...k?
show 'em the manual and where the page is...teehee...snorting....

gosh you make my day.
:)

Jay said...

When I saw the title of this post I was going to say "Same thing here cause the Fair is in town!" LOL

Trying to get the docs and the insurance bureaucrats to coordinate is almost impossible sometimes. Bunch of morons!

fairyflutters said...

Oh my gosh, so let me get this straight, because you don't want to anesthesize (sp???) your little boy, the big hassle over the physical is no longer important? Is that right?

Freakin' quacks all of 'em. I swear. And insurance, what a crock!

$25 copays. *Gasp* Ours are $20 and I think that's bad enough. Ugh.

Krishna said...

Its just a huge waste of money AND those people hire incompetent people to work the desk!!!

kcinnova said...

Yep, make sure you are all on the same page. We tried to jump through several hoops at the same time 8 years ago... and my 1-hr same-day-surgery became a 5-hr, nearly-a-colostomy-patient, 5-day hospital stay. AND? They had to get dh's verbal permission for a surgical manuever (unplanned) because my signature wasn't on the paper! uh-huh, yes, really.
My moral of that story was, Thank God for general anesthesia!

But I'm all for not drugging the kid. Good for you being more-than-proactive!!!

Baseball Mom said...

Who would have thought this all over anesthesia. First I didn't even know they did that. Your right lay on table, listen to beeps and now they have Satlyte radio and you can pick your channel, and rock out to tunes. Though don't start tapping foot like I almost did. [giggle]

Good luck with Famer Jr. Glad it finally worked out.

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