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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Good, The Bad, and the Loving....

HISTORY:  Lil'Gal has to take this ast-nasty blue medicine.  Mind you it has a sour taste that ain't so bad?  But, the after taste is about as close to anti-freeze as I can guess...having thought about it as child but knowing that any type of "koolaid" for a car?  Mustn't be for me.
Anyhow, I had previously told my Lil'Gal that I would purchase for her, some "starwars."  Starburst is the term but she has relayed to me that she prefers the term "starwars."  So that, once having suffered through the daily dose?   She might enjoy the sweet and souring taste of a "starwars" in replacement of the mouth rot the medicine left her with.
FAST FORWARD:  It's about dinner time.  I'm allowing the youngins to watch Krypto the Superdog and Tom and Jerry while I cook up somethin' in the kitchen because DH is dove hunting.  Lil'Gal decides she wants a "starwars" so she will finally take her ast-nasty blue medicine.
I say, "Sure...after you eat dinner."  The tantrum begins.  Crying, whining, the floor routine, then the anger....and, then?  Yelling!?
HER:  "I want to take my medicine NOW!  You lied!  You said I could have a starwars after I take my medicine and I want to TAKE IT NOW!"
ME:  In summary, "NO."
Lil'Gal runs off to her room yelling and so forth.  Then?  She says something that invokes?  The paddle.  I hate the paddle.  But, the Lord did put it in the Bible and there are occasions that call for it.  :-(
She says, "You are a S-T-U-P-I-D Mommy!!!!"  At that?  Imaging the sound of the kitchen drawer opening as I grab the paint stick paddle (quite flimsy; the ones they give you to mix the paint with).  And, I head to handle the tantrum that has gone too far.
I return to the kitchen to finish dinner and am feeling quite sad and dumpy.  A few minutes later?  Lil'Gal returns to the kitchen.  Saddened and fighting back tears.  She apologizes.  We talk about it.  She hugs me as tightly as she can.  She kisses my cheek.  She tells me she loves me.  I tell I love her and no matter what?  That will NEVER change.
She hugs me and kisses me again.   She learned something.
My heart is gushing with pride for her and I'm feeling refilled with the sweet love she shares.
That's parenting.  It's hard.  I love it.



tt said...

Awwwwwww....that made my eyes leak. I've been is really hard. the saying of 'this will hurt me more than it will hurt you' applies during these times.((sniffing))

We had a paddle too. We called it "the Attitude Adjuster" ...even wrote it on the stick. :) Usually we'd only have to point to it and everything would calm down...wonder why that was??/ tee-hee....
Happy hump day to you and yours.

Knight said...

A paint stick? I wish my mom had been so nice. She just used her hand and she used it well! Scared the crap out of us. You are a great mom and you are going to have some wonderful children participating in society.

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

I faced the same sort of thing when I was a kid. You know what? I never misbehaved 9well, maybe 3-4 times). I knew my parents meant it, and kids have to learn the rules.

Lis Garrett said...

UGH. I have wretched memories of being "spanked" with everything from a belt to a bristled hairbrush on bare legs and butt. My dad used to tell me his hand was "itching for the feel of flesh." How rotten is that?! And my mom would pull my hair for good measure and call me a name or two (all while drunk, of course). There's no corporal punishment going on in my house. I know you mean well (and I know you are a good mom), but I have strong opinions about forms of physical punishment.

Of course, there are those who say I am way too easy on my kids as a result.

Sorry . . . obviously a sore subject for me.

Farmer*swife said...

Thanks y'all. For understanding? And, for sharing... experiences and incites.

Anonymous said...

The fact that you hate it and only use it when you "have to" and then you feel awful and she comes to apologize with a changed attitude and you can talk about it all?
Yep, that is some of that good (but difficult) parenting.
I'm with you, FW, on your particular style. It *does* get easier as they grow.

I know there are multifaceted views of parenting out there. And certainly, growing up in a home anything like what Lis and Knight grew up with? Those would be darn good reasons to not pass it on.