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Thursday, October 30, 2008

The MANTRA

Morning Blog Buddies!
So, I was super behind?  But DH took the youngins to school (which saved me about 45 minutes) and Lis said I could do the other article I wanted to submit for December!  So, now my day has really been injected with some extra time to tend to those last minute things that were added to my list yesterday.
Enough about the "List" though.  I'm on my second Super Sized mug of coffee again.  I figure it worked so well yesterday?  Then, Hey!  Let's make it my new habit!  YAY!  I did re-brew though...and just added a little scoop to it.  Otherwise?  I might end up jitterin' all day!
THE MANTRA:  So, a couple of years ago?  I read this really good book titled, "The MomsTown Guide to Getting It All".  It was written by Mary Goulet and Heather Reider.  They were featured on Dr. Phil a couple of times, the Today show, and maybe Oprah.  It's a great read!
The past week or so?  I've really had a difficult time with my Lil'Gal.  It is so awful when everything is a battle.  Everything.  She is head strong and strong willed (wonder where she gets THAT from) and I love that about her.  It just makes it really hard to get her to tow her end of the rope.
Well, I made it through last night's total meltdown without becoming physical or raising my voice.  I hate both of those.  The spanking thing is really a see-saw with me.  I feel like spanking a child controls (or not, in the case of Lil'Gal) the behavior at the moment but it doesn't teach the child how to control that behavior when in other venues where we aren't there to "control it" for them.
After making it through last night.  And, getting her into bed.  Prayers, hugs, kisses and all.  I felt validated as a Parent in doing my job well.  I was also mentally and emotional exhausted.  Though, I did have a bin full of really, awesome, cool toys to play with for the night. (LOL, I took them away as her consequence for bad behavior.)  
It's hard to maintain composure when my child is kicking, screaming, banging around, throwing stuff, and saying mean things to me -- especially when I really want to melt down myself.  [And, I have a time or two the past week and I find that is just not acceptable.]  Now you are all probably thinking I spoil my children if they exhibit that type of behavior.  I do not kinda', maybe, a little tid bit.
So, this morning?  My old Mantra popped in my head.  I pulled out the note book I dedicated just to this book and the exercises it has in it.  [If you are a SAHM or a WAHM?  You really want to read this book!  It was written just for us S-WAHMs.]
"I am a loving parent.  I am in control.  I will parent peacefully.  I will NOT explode."  So, I'm going back to this.
I have another one too, which pertains to people around me in general:
"I cannot control those around me.  I CAN control my reaction and the be stronger person."  Sounds a little like the serenity prayer, huh?
I'm also reading another book which was reviewed at Lis at Root and Sprout called, "Parenting with an Attitude...21 Questions Successful Parents Ask Themselves."  It's written by Ed Wimberly, Ph.D.  So far, I've enjoyed this read too.
So, Dave Ramsey is waiting by the bed side table.  I want to hit a couple more chapters of him this weekend.  But, my kids come first.  And, I need to refocus.  It's not just about the parties and the costumes and reading assignments.  It's about compassion, patience, and quality parenting.
I guess this is a Mommy post and I probably should have blogged it at Grow Together.  I might post it there too.  Cuz' I know there are lots of Mommies who are going through the same thing...daily.
Off to my errands and my day!  I'm going to cast my vote!!!  Doing my part!  And, I know we all have our own opinions about this that and whomever.  Vote for whom you believe in.  The important thing is that we all get out there and participate, OK? 
Happy Thursday!!!!!!

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3 comments:

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

Maybe your headstrong Lil Gal and Lis's headstrong 3 year old Bridget should get together and play every afternoon....then they would BOTH be exhausted and well behaved! Happy Thursday!

Jay said...

I would never have the patience to be a parent. Never.

tt said...

Kids to their 'job'...acting out and trying to make us go insane...and we do our 'job'...making them miserable by being accountable for their actions. :)
It's always a tug-of-war. I think that's one reason God made sleep...that's why parents don't kill their youngins.. ;)....when you see them sleeping, they look like angels and we get all mushy and remember why we had them in the first place. :) It's a necessary thing for sure!
You're a fabulous and loving Mom..never forget that gal!
Your 'bag' is mighty full!

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